Every fable has it's morals.
but we all so readily duck them.
we only love the thrill of an
adventure but hate moral lessons
there. animal farm is written in
with the masterful mechanics
of George Orwell who makes
it look as though he was only
personifying animals.
but he was actually writing about
humans.
in the Bard's play, there often are
jesters, wise men whom say
things that seem to make no sense
[or so you thought]
but they are actually relaying the
morals of the story across to us
or the characters in the play.
they are fabulists and are never
popular. the fabulist in Hamlet,
the fool, disappeared and in other
plays, they either got beheaded
or recieved punishment
for telling people in authority
what they need to know but
didn't enjoy knowing.
see, they are never popular.
"being a fabulist is a thankless
job"-William Golding, Lord
of the Flies
then, we need fabulists,
just like haters, can you imagine a
world without haters?
there will be nobody to keep
complaining to governments
about how much their policy sucks,
nobody to notice certain facts
missed out.
you need haters
and you need morals
26 December 2007
24 December 2007
The final word, truth
what's lost and what's gained?
nothing.
this was one hell of a year,
but it only made the world seem colder.
if somebody thinks it's really easy
to keep this kinda life,
that must be goddarned rich or
simply ignorant.
just barely past a month and
there goes $2000, try it.
if everything seems like there's
hope in it, im sorry, you're wrong
it's what you chose to believe in.
personally, i don't really believe in
happiness anymore.
im on a joyride of death and i don't
wish to take anyone with me.
i just can't do it.
can't believe that people think
i'm leading a kind of carefree life,
everyday, i worry about how things
may turn out. and it's always
far from positive.
when all the negetive thoughts
come at you like an opprobrious
father, where do you have to run?
i take it all in, like a vacuum;
you have to suck up
all the shit and dead cockroaches
but all people do is leave you
in a corner till they find more shit
and they kick you around
cause you are an obstruction.
yeah. that's life.
try to picture that.
nothing.
this was one hell of a year,
but it only made the world seem colder.
if somebody thinks it's really easy
to keep this kinda life,
that must be goddarned rich or
simply ignorant.
just barely past a month and
there goes $2000, try it.
if everything seems like there's
hope in it, im sorry, you're wrong
it's what you chose to believe in.
personally, i don't really believe in
happiness anymore.
im on a joyride of death and i don't
wish to take anyone with me.
i just can't do it.
can't believe that people think
i'm leading a kind of carefree life,
everyday, i worry about how things
may turn out. and it's always
far from positive.
when all the negetive thoughts
come at you like an opprobrious
father, where do you have to run?
i take it all in, like a vacuum;
you have to suck up
all the shit and dead cockroaches
but all people do is leave you
in a corner till they find more shit
and they kick you around
cause you are an obstruction.
yeah. that's life.
try to picture that.
12 December 2007
Genesis
where do all these come from?
when you start to realise that
everything you've probably stood for
starts to fall apart, can you stop it?
the future was never written in stone,
or was it?
come to think about it, you've always
wanted to be a free man,
and a free man always have choices.
you may have wanted to avoid certain
things. but your destiny seems to say
otherwise. what's destiny?
when you say you have no choice,
is it real? you always have choices,
even when at gunpoint,
you can say, "shoot me"
but you chose to follow orders.
your destiny is not decided,
people can always change the course
of events, people can always decide.
but then, most of us screw up anyway.
(thick brown wrappings of tobacco leaves,
a glass surrounded by warm water filled
with crystal clear brown liquid - enjoyment, not?)
when you start to realise that
everything you've probably stood for
starts to fall apart, can you stop it?
the future was never written in stone,
or was it?
come to think about it, you've always
wanted to be a free man,
and a free man always have choices.
you may have wanted to avoid certain
things. but your destiny seems to say
otherwise. what's destiny?
when you say you have no choice,
is it real? you always have choices,
even when at gunpoint,
you can say, "shoot me"
but you chose to follow orders.
your destiny is not decided,
people can always change the course
of events, people can always decide.
but then, most of us screw up anyway.
(thick brown wrappings of tobacco leaves,
a glass surrounded by warm water filled
with crystal clear brown liquid - enjoyment, not?)
"i'm standing on the edge of time
i walked away when love was mine
caught up in a world of uphill climbing
the tears are in my mind
and nothing is rhyming, oh mandy.
well you came and you gave without taking
but i sent you away, oh mandy"
7 December 2007
4 December 2007
Few darned days
Friend: Haiix... Why? Why is happiness always gone?
Me: That's because we try too hard
Friend: Did i do anything wrong?
Me: ...
Friend: Tell me. Please, why is it so fucked up?
Me: No. Nobody did anything wrong.
It's just that nothing goes right.
That's why we're always in pursuit
Remember? The pursuit of happiness
Friend: Then tell me, why is it that everything
would go wrong and people love to find
something to blame?
Me: Cause it makes them happy that they aren't
at fault.
Friend: Haiix..
Me: That's because we try too hard
Friend: Did i do anything wrong?
Me: ...
Friend: Tell me. Please, why is it so fucked up?
Me: No. Nobody did anything wrong.
It's just that nothing goes right.
That's why we're always in pursuit
Remember? The pursuit of happiness
Friend: Then tell me, why is it that everything
would go wrong and people love to find
something to blame?
Me: Cause it makes them happy that they aren't
at fault.
Friend: Haiix..
She's out there now, she has her own two feet
you know that it might be a facade.
but you still have to give yourself more time.
your god given apology will not save anything.
if losing this friend makes her happier,
then lose her. say your piece when you're ready
and let her decide what's next.
2 December 2007
Make it real
Something is missing.
something important.
(im sorry)
during the transitioin,
if ever anyone was at fault,
then the fault be the confused.
(i really am)
but the one whom hadn't kept
parting promises would also
be at fault.
(i love you)
friends she had claimed to be
now, stangers would do better.
what more could he provide?
only a sorry and true feelings
(just that im not ready for anything)
yes, he could blame everyone
but himself he too could blame
nothing is wrong in this world
'cept for humans and their misery.
(so i guess, this is goodbye)
his time is running out,
he needs some of it to get things done
but she couldnt give him a little more
he only wanted to let her choose,
she chose the distance.
(je t'aime)
now no one is being blamed here,
just a weighing of incidents.
and an explaination of a plot and
storyline of a probable hatred to come
something important.
(im sorry)
during the transitioin,
if ever anyone was at fault,
then the fault be the confused.
(i really am)
but the one whom hadn't kept
parting promises would also
be at fault.
(i love you)
friends she had claimed to be
now, stangers would do better.
what more could he provide?
only a sorry and true feelings
(just that im not ready for anything)
yes, he could blame everyone
but himself he too could blame
nothing is wrong in this world
'cept for humans and their misery.
(so i guess, this is goodbye)
his time is running out,
he needs some of it to get things done
but she couldnt give him a little more
he only wanted to let her choose,
she chose the distance.
(je t'aime)
now no one is being blamed here,
just a weighing of incidents.
and an explaination of a plot and
storyline of a probable hatred to come
30 November 2007
The corner of war and peace
What exactly do you define as peace?
or what do you consider is war?
here's the story of a boy,
a boy whom fought for his dreams
but wound up hurt and lost.
A boy who has lost all motivation
he wanted peace but no one knew,
that kind of peace that he longed for,
can be provided.
he knew something was wrong,
he swore he started out at the wrong foot,
but he persevered,
he drove on thinking that mistakes
could be corrected if he walked tall.
he is at war with his mind
and his heart is not an ally.
in this battle, he took sides with his heart,
he tried his best to win this war.
yet again, he realised that
this war, could not be won,
his heart has betrayed him.
he was blind, he was blinded by
his lust for peace in his soul.
who could blame him?
everyone wants a better life.
it was a cold night, the rain was
pouring. he saw and witness the
struggles of a soul,
he was told to keep her warm.
he should have minded his business.
but his desire for humane touch
and his heart, brought him warm.
he allowed himself to be immersed
in the warmth of a beating heart,
the warmth his heart could not give.
this feeling so great, his mind was
clogged.
the rain miraculously ceased,
he then heard voices of his fears,
he had failed to remove them.
he was crashing, he wanted to run
this time, for real, he had to run,
to a place where no one could find him
and he had left in a heartbeat,
without so much of a word,
his shillouette would soon disappear.
or what do you consider is war?
here's the story of a boy,
a boy whom fought for his dreams
but wound up hurt and lost.
A boy who has lost all motivation
he wanted peace but no one knew,
that kind of peace that he longed for,
can be provided.
he knew something was wrong,
he swore he started out at the wrong foot,
but he persevered,
he drove on thinking that mistakes
could be corrected if he walked tall.
he is at war with his mind
and his heart is not an ally.
in this battle, he took sides with his heart,
he tried his best to win this war.
yet again, he realised that
this war, could not be won,
his heart has betrayed him.
he was blind, he was blinded by
his lust for peace in his soul.
who could blame him?
everyone wants a better life.
it was a cold night, the rain was
pouring. he saw and witness the
struggles of a soul,
he was told to keep her warm.
he should have minded his business.
but his desire for humane touch
and his heart, brought him warm.
he allowed himself to be immersed
in the warmth of a beating heart,
the warmth his heart could not give.
this feeling so great, his mind was
clogged.
the rain miraculously ceased,
he then heard voices of his fears,
he had failed to remove them.
he was crashing, he wanted to run
this time, for real, he had to run,
to a place where no one could find him
and he had left in a heartbeat,
without so much of a word,
his shillouette would soon disappear.
"She calls out to the man on the street,
'sir can you help me?
It's cold and i've nowhere to sleep
is there someplace you can tell me?'
He walks on, doesn't look back
he pretends he can't hear her.
Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
seems embaressed to be there."
28 November 2007
Rhythm, Music
Nature creates itself in rhythms,
when things move in rhythms, they create sounds.
sounds in rhythm is music
the soul of the world.
when things move in rhythms, they create sounds.
sounds in rhythm is music
the soul of the world.
27 November 2007
Lapse of Memory
Who is that?
I ask again, who is that?
Why does it feel so different now that I think about it?
I mean how often do you suddenly feel that overnight,
you get this rush of change and suddenly, you are a
stranger again?
It happened once too many this year, hell no, this month.
I happen to have guessed the outcome of everything,
let us now try to give your life a complete assesment,
-you currently have your family and 1 person you'd trust.
-you don't want to talk to your family.
-you are no longer ready to bring an extra person in.
-you just realised and now you feel like shit.
-you no longer know how to even express yourself'
-you don't want to cause misery but it increases the pain
that's what you are. that's who that is, just a stranger,
but get to know him,
you'd most probably hate him and look at him
judgementally but oh well, that's how life is,
he has to start, all over again
I ask again, who is that?
Why does it feel so different now that I think about it?
I mean how often do you suddenly feel that overnight,
you get this rush of change and suddenly, you are a
stranger again?
It happened once too many this year, hell no, this month.
I happen to have guessed the outcome of everything,
let us now try to give your life a complete assesment,
-you currently have your family and 1 person you'd trust.
-you don't want to talk to your family.
-you are no longer ready to bring an extra person in.
-you just realised and now you feel like shit.
-you no longer know how to even express yourself'
-you don't want to cause misery but it increases the pain
that's what you are. that's who that is, just a stranger,
but get to know him,
you'd most probably hate him and look at him
judgementally but oh well, that's how life is,
he has to start, all over again
12 November 2007
underneath the words
you knew this would happen.
but you'd never expect it to happen so soon
i knew you guys would make my guess true
what does life hold for you now?
a million more bad suprises
i knew we couldnt be friends foreva
it's not over.
a prayer found during the war:
Lord, when you come in your glory,
do not only remember the men of good
remember too the men of evil
On the day of judgement,
do not remember only the acts of
cruelty, inhumanity and acts of
violence that they carried out,
but remember too the fruits that they
produced in us because of what they
did to us.
Remember the patience, courage,
brotherly love, humanity, generosity
of spirit and faithfulness that
our executioners awoke in our souls.
And then Lord, may those fruits be
used to save the souls of those
men of evil
but you'd never expect it to happen so soon
i knew you guys would make my guess true
what does life hold for you now?
a million more bad suprises
i knew we couldnt be friends foreva
it's not over.
a prayer found during the war:
Lord, when you come in your glory,
do not only remember the men of good
remember too the men of evil
On the day of judgement,
do not remember only the acts of
cruelty, inhumanity and acts of
violence that they carried out,
but remember too the fruits that they
produced in us because of what they
did to us.
Remember the patience, courage,
brotherly love, humanity, generosity
of spirit and faithfulness that
our executioners awoke in our souls.
And then Lord, may those fruits be
used to save the souls of those
men of evil
28 October 2007
The meaning is clear.
read between the lines
well past these few days things havent been
absolutely the best for you.
i am a loser
things were never the best.
i've never been great at anything
have you learnt that you would never get
what you wanted?
my life is absolutely not wonderous
somethings are more or less against you
but you can only count on you
my soul is dreanched in despair
nobody is going to help you pick your crap
up. absolutely nobody
i am not pessimistic but rather a realist
i know life hurts more than you want it to
i know you are hiding from it
i know the extent of my failure in life
i know you wish you had never met them
cause now to you, your life is in a mess
why are you avoiding me?
what more do you think can happen
there is no absolute solution
why are you not replying me?
death is not the opposite of life but more
the end of life. there is no opposite
why are you running?
how are you gonna prove that you're not
the guy they think you are?
running and disappearing
there is no way. but if you keep taking a
passive stand, no one's going to be by you
when im the one which no one loves
just like what's happening now. your
friends, they are one by one disappearing
you all care yah. but you dont love
you are now cycling on a completely untouched
road.. and people are more and more afraid to
follow
you guys leave me to my own devices
yes, you are leaving your life, you emotions
are a rage, you cant control yourself anymore
you guys dont feel my pain
you are on the verge of explotion, and no one
seems to notice right?
im somebody who doesnt feel?
is there no way you can salvage the situation?
im someone who is blind?
are you agreeable to the way you are treating
yourself?
please note, im more than you think
you dont want to blame anyone. so you take
all the freaking blame by making your life
worse.
im not angry
are you trying to be bloody smart?
rather, im lost
you trip on everyone and you piss them off
im losing my senses
dont you want anyone to stand with you?
dont you want company?
im struggling to get out
is it really that hard to trust yourself when
no one wants to trust you?
i want to see the light again
since it has gotten to this point, only you know
what's best and you have to take care
i need to go back to where i started
dont allow yourself to waver. why are you
still so shaking mad?
well past these few days things havent been
absolutely the best for you.
i am a loser
things were never the best.
i've never been great at anything
have you learnt that you would never get
what you wanted?
my life is absolutely not wonderous
somethings are more or less against you
but you can only count on you
my soul is dreanched in despair
nobody is going to help you pick your crap
up. absolutely nobody
i am not pessimistic but rather a realist
i know life hurts more than you want it to
i know you are hiding from it
i know the extent of my failure in life
i know you wish you had never met them
cause now to you, your life is in a mess
why are you avoiding me?
what more do you think can happen
there is no absolute solution
why are you not replying me?
death is not the opposite of life but more
the end of life. there is no opposite
why are you running?
how are you gonna prove that you're not
the guy they think you are?
running and disappearing
there is no way. but if you keep taking a
passive stand, no one's going to be by you
when im the one which no one loves
just like what's happening now. your
friends, they are one by one disappearing
you all care yah. but you dont love
you are now cycling on a completely untouched
road.. and people are more and more afraid to
follow
you guys leave me to my own devices
yes, you are leaving your life, you emotions
are a rage, you cant control yourself anymore
you guys dont feel my pain
you are on the verge of explotion, and no one
seems to notice right?
im somebody who doesnt feel?
is there no way you can salvage the situation?
im someone who is blind?
are you agreeable to the way you are treating
yourself?
please note, im more than you think
you dont want to blame anyone. so you take
all the freaking blame by making your life
worse.
im not angry
are you trying to be bloody smart?
rather, im lost
you trip on everyone and you piss them off
im losing my senses
dont you want anyone to stand with you?
dont you want company?
im struggling to get out
is it really that hard to trust yourself when
no one wants to trust you?
i want to see the light again
since it has gotten to this point, only you know
what's best and you have to take care
i need to go back to where i started
dont allow yourself to waver. why are you
still so shaking mad?
5 October 2007
Life
starting off with something off the topic:
if a person wants you,
nothing can keep he/her from you
if a person doesnt want to stay,
nothing can make him/her stay
stop making excuses for him/her
and their behavior
heart breaks last as long
and cut as deep as you allow them to
the challenge,
is not to survive heart breaks,
but to learn from them
when it rains, look for the rainbow.
Back to the topic at hand:
i cant tell you what's the purpose of life,
but i can tell you what's the general way
that people choose to live life in,
your purpose, can be determined that way.
you know about the same old way of saying,
'make your life worth living?'
OR
'you only got one lifetime, live it to the fullest'
but nobody ever tells you how huh?
so some people decided,
they wanna live happily,
some just chose to find the truth of existance,
the truth of life.
and there are those, the majority of them,
the reason why the world is a lousy place.
the happy people, the way they live is very
special, they live without a past, without
a future, they find no meaning, they need
no reasons, no explainations.
they can find some cheer in everything,
grinning with unrestrained mirth,
as though life had never presented them
with a setback, as if life, is all giving
and the world is this unbelivably
beautiful and wonderous place.
their purpose in life is to cheer others up,
their purpose in life is to find happiness
in things that are but only illusions
that are in their hearts.
life dangles, happiness on her left hand,
and meaning on her right,
left-the hand of creativity
right-the hand of job and hardwork
those that choose to live just cause they
are breathing, decide to steal a little
from both hands.
life insists, that meaning and happiness
are two separate roads, once you have
chosen the path of meaning, you can
never turn back. the road of happiness
however, has many one way doors,
you can always choose to leave the road
of happiness and go to the path of
meaning or the path of those who live
just because they're born into the world.
when you take the path of meaning,
you have to be able to carry the past,
no matter how dark and look at the future
no matter how bleak. your present,
is just a transition state. you might
become lodged at a point and no matter
what, if you cannot find an explaination,
you will not let the matter rest, you're
usually insecure, appearing strong and
arrogant on the outside, you will cease to
be the real you. your personality is almost
so unpredictable since you care confused
even by yourself.
your purpose in life, is to guide or
to find the reason of your own existance.
and to hide your true face from the world
and for those who live just to live,
you're never wrong in your eyes,
you criticise and complain, you never
give others a way out, everything they
do or say that you are unfamiliar with,
are treated as lies and exaggeration
to you. you dont bother to look for
explainations in things that are not
easily understandable, you try to
find happiness but all you see is just
abit of humour. you are the kind of
person who has a personality that you
and others like yourself consider unique
but see each other as friends who are
arrogant but agree with each other
when you are criticising others.
you are conditioned to the 'dog eat
dog' situation, you're double edged.
your sole purpose in living is to live
like you'd never die and to die like
you've never lived.
i know this post is going to create
alot of controversy, alot of disagreement
but this is my writing space man..
let me abuse it. thanks
if a person wants you,
nothing can keep he/her from you
if a person doesnt want to stay,
nothing can make him/her stay
stop making excuses for him/her
and their behavior
heart breaks last as long
and cut as deep as you allow them to
the challenge,
is not to survive heart breaks,
but to learn from them
when it rains, look for the rainbow.
Back to the topic at hand:
i cant tell you what's the purpose of life,
but i can tell you what's the general way
that people choose to live life in,
your purpose, can be determined that way.
you know about the same old way of saying,
'make your life worth living?'
OR
'you only got one lifetime, live it to the fullest'
but nobody ever tells you how huh?
so some people decided,
they wanna live happily,
some just chose to find the truth of existance,
the truth of life.
and there are those, the majority of them,
the reason why the world is a lousy place.
the happy people, the way they live is very
special, they live without a past, without
a future, they find no meaning, they need
no reasons, no explainations.
they can find some cheer in everything,
grinning with unrestrained mirth,
as though life had never presented them
with a setback, as if life, is all giving
and the world is this unbelivably
beautiful and wonderous place.
their purpose in life is to cheer others up,
their purpose in life is to find happiness
in things that are but only illusions
that are in their hearts.
life dangles, happiness on her left hand,
and meaning on her right,
left-the hand of creativity
right-the hand of job and hardwork
those that choose to live just cause they
are breathing, decide to steal a little
from both hands.
life insists, that meaning and happiness
are two separate roads, once you have
chosen the path of meaning, you can
never turn back. the road of happiness
however, has many one way doors,
you can always choose to leave the road
of happiness and go to the path of
meaning or the path of those who live
just because they're born into the world.
when you take the path of meaning,
you have to be able to carry the past,
no matter how dark and look at the future
no matter how bleak. your present,
is just a transition state. you might
become lodged at a point and no matter
what, if you cannot find an explaination,
you will not let the matter rest, you're
usually insecure, appearing strong and
arrogant on the outside, you will cease to
be the real you. your personality is almost
so unpredictable since you care confused
even by yourself.
your purpose in life, is to guide or
to find the reason of your own existance.
and to hide your true face from the world
and for those who live just to live,
you're never wrong in your eyes,
you criticise and complain, you never
give others a way out, everything they
do or say that you are unfamiliar with,
are treated as lies and exaggeration
to you. you dont bother to look for
explainations in things that are not
easily understandable, you try to
find happiness but all you see is just
abit of humour. you are the kind of
person who has a personality that you
and others like yourself consider unique
but see each other as friends who are
arrogant but agree with each other
when you are criticising others.
you are conditioned to the 'dog eat
dog' situation, you're double edged.
your sole purpose in living is to live
like you'd never die and to die like
you've never lived.
i know this post is going to create
alot of controversy, alot of disagreement
but this is my writing space man..
let me abuse it. thanks
25 September 2007
Trust
Distrust is the confident expectation that another
individual's motives, intentions, and behaviours
are sinister to one's own interest. distrust auto-
matically makes take steps to reduce our
"vulnerability".
Due to it's destructive nature, we must view
this phenomenon with much care and see how
it can be managed efficiently.
oh yes, to deal with something, we must also
know how it functions, distrust, the lack of trust,
whatever you'd like to call it all means, not trusting,
it is often due to stereotypical and judgemental
views which are, more often than not, flawful
views. even when the distrusted party tries
to amend, it is often met by skeptisim and
sometimes, hostility.
in the case of promises, when a party breaks a
promise, the other might probably lose faith
or trust in him. this guy, decides to make amends
but after being rejected, he might decide
to just give up and continue breaking more promises.
in such cases, distrust increases frequency of
violation and causes even more distrust.
there are two sides to distrust,
good side: functional distrust
bad side: dysfunctional distrust
Functional:
there have been cases where we trust people
to be upright in character and not betray us
but we were indeed betrayed, this form
of distrust, helps us to keep our defences up,
to remain vigilant to protect ourselves.
Dysfunctional:
distrusting also has extremes, and these
are nothing to be jumping for joy to. when
distrust is at it's extreme, it leads to paranoia,
an obessesion for the subject to find a reason
to every single action of the distrusted, this
leads to overactive imaginations and a faulty
judgement of character. the subject will most
likely show his distrust and get treated
equally, which will cause a buildup of
animosity and even more distrust.
that's just backgound where it involves two
parties or more..
but what happens when it's someone whom
you know too well? when it's just one party?
all these still apply, it only means that
you are too judgemental on yourself,
you refuse to allow yourself to experience
and do things without an explaination..
correct me if im wrong.. i highly doubt it,
if you are telling me you cannot trust yourself,
ive been through that, and i know what
it exactly feels like. you tell yourself not to
do some things or to do some things but,
you might have broken these promises before
therefore you lose faith in yourself and
when you try to gain faith again, you have no
will to do so, you are worried that you will make
the same mistakes and you refuse to give
yourself a chance.. that's how it usually goes
that's what makes you lose faith in yourself
and as the faith is gone, the trust fades..
most of the time, logic and emotions dont
agree.. but you need to know which to
follow.. i know there are sayings of the
heart being treacherous but, treachery
is a blow that can only come unknowingly.
if you knew your heart well enough,
it can never be treacherous.. and if you
want to get to know it, you have to trust
it. without knowledge, we can survive,
without emotions, we cannot function as
per nomal. why do i say such?
ever heard that
human empathy is one of the strongest
feelings?
9/11, countless people who had gone,
the world was taken aback, the world when
only a fraction of these people are related
to those who were victimised.. that's how
the victims continued to have hope,
with the comfort and condolences from
people they dont know, they feel that
the world has so much more to offer them,
the FEEL but they dont KNOW..
another point.
whatever it is,
when you cant trust, you cant love..
when you cant love yourself, you cant
love others...
love yourself, for the sake of a better
world.. for love, can change a person.
and if everyone of us make an effort
to better ourselves, the world will be
such a better place.
if all of us learnt to trust, and want
to be trusted, there would be no
betrayal.. but as humans, we have a
long way to go.. lets try to shorten
this time.
individual's motives, intentions, and behaviours
are sinister to one's own interest. distrust auto-
matically makes take steps to reduce our
"vulnerability".
Due to it's destructive nature, we must view
this phenomenon with much care and see how
it can be managed efficiently.
oh yes, to deal with something, we must also
know how it functions, distrust, the lack of trust,
whatever you'd like to call it all means, not trusting,
it is often due to stereotypical and judgemental
views which are, more often than not, flawful
views. even when the distrusted party tries
to amend, it is often met by skeptisim and
sometimes, hostility.
in the case of promises, when a party breaks a
promise, the other might probably lose faith
or trust in him. this guy, decides to make amends
but after being rejected, he might decide
to just give up and continue breaking more promises.
in such cases, distrust increases frequency of
violation and causes even more distrust.
there are two sides to distrust,
good side: functional distrust
bad side: dysfunctional distrust
Functional:
there have been cases where we trust people
to be upright in character and not betray us
but we were indeed betrayed, this form
of distrust, helps us to keep our defences up,
to remain vigilant to protect ourselves.
Dysfunctional:
distrusting also has extremes, and these
are nothing to be jumping for joy to. when
distrust is at it's extreme, it leads to paranoia,
an obessesion for the subject to find a reason
to every single action of the distrusted, this
leads to overactive imaginations and a faulty
judgement of character. the subject will most
likely show his distrust and get treated
equally, which will cause a buildup of
animosity and even more distrust.
that's just backgound where it involves two
parties or more..
but what happens when it's someone whom
you know too well? when it's just one party?
all these still apply, it only means that
you are too judgemental on yourself,
you refuse to allow yourself to experience
and do things without an explaination..
correct me if im wrong.. i highly doubt it,
if you are telling me you cannot trust yourself,
ive been through that, and i know what
it exactly feels like. you tell yourself not to
do some things or to do some things but,
you might have broken these promises before
therefore you lose faith in yourself and
when you try to gain faith again, you have no
will to do so, you are worried that you will make
the same mistakes and you refuse to give
yourself a chance.. that's how it usually goes
that's what makes you lose faith in yourself
and as the faith is gone, the trust fades..
most of the time, logic and emotions dont
agree.. but you need to know which to
follow.. i know there are sayings of the
heart being treacherous but, treachery
is a blow that can only come unknowingly.
if you knew your heart well enough,
it can never be treacherous.. and if you
want to get to know it, you have to trust
it. without knowledge, we can survive,
without emotions, we cannot function as
per nomal. why do i say such?
ever heard that
human empathy is one of the strongest
feelings?
9/11, countless people who had gone,
the world was taken aback, the world when
only a fraction of these people are related
to those who were victimised.. that's how
the victims continued to have hope,
with the comfort and condolences from
people they dont know, they feel that
the world has so much more to offer them,
the FEEL but they dont KNOW..
another point.
whatever it is,
when you cant trust, you cant love..
when you cant love yourself, you cant
love others...
love yourself, for the sake of a better
world.. for love, can change a person.
and if everyone of us make an effort
to better ourselves, the world will be
such a better place.
if all of us learnt to trust, and want
to be trusted, there would be no
betrayal.. but as humans, we have a
long way to go.. lets try to shorten
this time.
20 September 2007
Dedication
you're a falling star, you're the getaway car.
you're the line in the sand when i go too far
you're the swimming pool, on an August day
and you're the perfect thing to say.
and you can play it coy, but it's kinda cute
ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what to do
baby, don't pretend that you don't know it's true
cause you can see it when i look at you.
[chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through this crazy times
it's you, it's you, you make me sing
you're every line, you're every word, you're everything
you're a carousel, you're a wishing well
and you light me up, when you ring my bell
you're a mystery, you're from outer space
you're every minute of my everyday
and i can't believe, that i'm your man
and i get to kiss you baby just because i can
whatever comes our way, we'll see it through
and you know that's what our love can do
[chorus:]
so, La la la la la la la
So, La la la la la la la
[chorus:]
you're every song, and i sing along
cause you're my everything
yeah, yeah
you're the line in the sand when i go too far
you're the swimming pool, on an August day
and you're the perfect thing to say.
and you can play it coy, but it's kinda cute
ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what to do
baby, don't pretend that you don't know it's true
cause you can see it when i look at you.
[chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through this crazy times
it's you, it's you, you make me sing
you're every line, you're every word, you're everything
you're a carousel, you're a wishing well
and you light me up, when you ring my bell
you're a mystery, you're from outer space
you're every minute of my everyday
and i can't believe, that i'm your man
and i get to kiss you baby just because i can
whatever comes our way, we'll see it through
and you know that's what our love can do
[chorus:]
so, La la la la la la la
So, La la la la la la la
[chorus:]
you're every song, and i sing along
cause you're my everything
yeah, yeah
19 September 2007
Despair
a shell vacant, lost in despair
a heart torn loose that needs repair
mind is gone, no eyes to see
transparent... all but these memories
i dont know how to explain this.
i just like this phrase. seems nice, and it serves
as a reminder to why people cant let go and
still call it love.. it's only cause your memories
are still there, the only thing that reminds you
of another party is memory.. in a few months,
you might have already forgotten his face but,
you still claim to love the ex.
big mistake.
you still love the memories that's all.
when you started to know him and feel the
attraction, it's because of animal nature to
procreate, you then start to form memories
with him, you start to shape bonds,
you realise he doesnt fall short of your expectations,
but, some time later, you have to breakup
because, the romance fell short of yours and
his expectations.. you then try to forget him
but you still kept the memories and you dont realise
that you have already forgotten him.. but
you love the memories and so you think you love the
person who made these memories with you...
that's how it is, since the start.. girls,
wake up.. you dont love your ex's anymore,
you love the memories..
tired of sob stories about how you still love him
so much but you had to break up..
that's one problem with humans, our tendancy
to get so mixed up with things..
it makes us look dumb.. please, think properly,
dont keep allowing your anguish to keep you
in despair...
a heart torn loose that needs repair
mind is gone, no eyes to see
transparent... all but these memories
i dont know how to explain this.
i just like this phrase. seems nice, and it serves
as a reminder to why people cant let go and
still call it love.. it's only cause your memories
are still there, the only thing that reminds you
of another party is memory.. in a few months,
you might have already forgotten his face but,
you still claim to love the ex.
big mistake.
you still love the memories that's all.
when you started to know him and feel the
attraction, it's because of animal nature to
procreate, you then start to form memories
with him, you start to shape bonds,
you realise he doesnt fall short of your expectations,
but, some time later, you have to breakup
because, the romance fell short of yours and
his expectations.. you then try to forget him
but you still kept the memories and you dont realise
that you have already forgotten him.. but
you love the memories and so you think you love the
person who made these memories with you...
that's how it is, since the start.. girls,
wake up.. you dont love your ex's anymore,
you love the memories..
tired of sob stories about how you still love him
so much but you had to break up..
that's one problem with humans, our tendancy
to get so mixed up with things..
it makes us look dumb.. please, think properly,
dont keep allowing your anguish to keep you
in despair...
13 September 2007
Regret
have you ever, regretted an action of yours?
My friend Fernando, asked me to give my opinion
to an SMS he had, and it went like this.
"it's not possible to live a life w/o regrets.
cos we're human, thus imperfect and prone to
making mistakes. i think it's okay to regret
doing something as long as we learn not to
repeat the mistake. it's not possible to forget
or ignore something that's a part of you.
that made you who you are, and that's essentially
what regrets are. so, it's time we learn from a
regretful mistake and work towards becoming a
better person."
well said, but no offences meant,
through and through, i only agree that we as
human as we can be, are imperfect and
are prone to mistakes.
if we were anymore self-respecting,
we'd understand that regrets are not supposed
to be in our dictionary. learn from mistakes,
yes, but regretting your actions, no.
let me put it out to you that your actions
are usually made by considering many various
options. you pick the one you think is most
suitable to handle your current situation.
dont tell me you dont have a choice,
when you say that, you have already made
your mind up.. you could jolly well have
ignored the possible consequences of other
possible options. you always have choices.
it's the same, you say you regret falling for
the wrong guy, you say you regret stealing,
you claim to have regretted your mistakes
but if you did regret them, you weren't
placing all your heart into it were you?
if you are truly passionate about your work,
and what you are doing, don't ever regret
doing anything, right or wrong is much
just a matter of perception, so there is no
such thing such as a mistake, never ever
allow someone else to tell you what you've
done is error on your part, that's bullshit.
only you and you alone can judge your
doings and the manifestation of your actions.
And let's say you consider your actions
wrong, then don't you realise that we,
as humans are too guilty of degrading
ourselves so much that we can only see with
accuracy when we make mistakes but will
rarely notice when we have done something
considerably noble?
i know this is more or less out of point but,
if we can all regret what went wrong, why
not propose something where we will be
awarded for every minor good we have done?
learning from mistakes does not include
regrets, cause regretting is like "chewing
gum to solve an extremely difficult math
question"
when i make it sound blunt, regretting is
somewhat alike to wallowing in self-pity.
but learning from mistakes does not require
wallowing in self-pity does it?
just make amends and carry on, as Avinash
says, 'if you look upon bad consequences
as a result of your actions, you will realise
that you kinda earned it, then there is no
longer a regret.' it's kinda like how you take
money for granted when you have lots of
cash when you just have to stretch out your
hands. but when you earned it, you cherish
it, that's like results of your actions, when
you actually earned them, you will not regret it,
you will remember them and do things
differently when you meet a similar situation.
in life, there is no absolute, so there is no
cause for regrets, it's just a nice word.
forgive yourself before you can be forgiven.
you don't know love, til you love yourself.
"above all else, guard your heart, for it's the wellspring of life" - Proverbs 4:23
My friend Fernando, asked me to give my opinion
to an SMS he had, and it went like this.
"it's not possible to live a life w/o regrets.
cos we're human, thus imperfect and prone to
making mistakes. i think it's okay to regret
doing something as long as we learn not to
repeat the mistake. it's not possible to forget
or ignore something that's a part of you.
that made you who you are, and that's essentially
what regrets are. so, it's time we learn from a
regretful mistake and work towards becoming a
better person."
well said, but no offences meant,
through and through, i only agree that we as
human as we can be, are imperfect and
are prone to mistakes.
if we were anymore self-respecting,
we'd understand that regrets are not supposed
to be in our dictionary. learn from mistakes,
yes, but regretting your actions, no.
let me put it out to you that your actions
are usually made by considering many various
options. you pick the one you think is most
suitable to handle your current situation.
dont tell me you dont have a choice,
when you say that, you have already made
your mind up.. you could jolly well have
ignored the possible consequences of other
possible options. you always have choices.
it's the same, you say you regret falling for
the wrong guy, you say you regret stealing,
you claim to have regretted your mistakes
but if you did regret them, you weren't
placing all your heart into it were you?
if you are truly passionate about your work,
and what you are doing, don't ever regret
doing anything, right or wrong is much
just a matter of perception, so there is no
such thing such as a mistake, never ever
allow someone else to tell you what you've
done is error on your part, that's bullshit.
only you and you alone can judge your
doings and the manifestation of your actions.
And let's say you consider your actions
wrong, then don't you realise that we,
as humans are too guilty of degrading
ourselves so much that we can only see with
accuracy when we make mistakes but will
rarely notice when we have done something
considerably noble?
i know this is more or less out of point but,
if we can all regret what went wrong, why
not propose something where we will be
awarded for every minor good we have done?
learning from mistakes does not include
regrets, cause regretting is like "chewing
gum to solve an extremely difficult math
question"
when i make it sound blunt, regretting is
somewhat alike to wallowing in self-pity.
but learning from mistakes does not require
wallowing in self-pity does it?
just make amends and carry on, as Avinash
says, 'if you look upon bad consequences
as a result of your actions, you will realise
that you kinda earned it, then there is no
longer a regret.' it's kinda like how you take
money for granted when you have lots of
cash when you just have to stretch out your
hands. but when you earned it, you cherish
it, that's like results of your actions, when
you actually earned them, you will not regret it,
you will remember them and do things
differently when you meet a similar situation.
in life, there is no absolute, so there is no
cause for regrets, it's just a nice word.
forgive yourself before you can be forgiven.
you don't know love, til you love yourself.
"above all else, guard your heart, for it's the wellspring of life" - Proverbs 4:23
8 September 2007
A tribute to all the nice guys!
Written by: Oscar Baldo
Date Written: 29/10/05
This is a tribute to the nice guys
The ones that always finish last
Those who are never more than friends
The one who understood girls in the past
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Who lasts hours filled with disappoint
To listen to the girl whine about arseholes
While disproving the very point
This is a tribute to the nice guys
The ones that compliments the miss
Not to get her to go out with him
But just to lift her spirit with bliss
This is a tribute to the nice guys
With open minds and an honest concern
The one that respects every facet
The one who needs nothing in return
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Who escort their drunken female friends
The one who wouldn't take advantage
Just so their friendship wouldn't end
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Who plays by the rules in a game
Even when that game favors cheaters
His actions are always the same
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Who accompany girls to bars as a buffer
To protect her with everything he has
Against the others so she won't suffer
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Boyfriend material is what he's named
Yet a few dozen failed relationships
After scratches, his heart starts to maim
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Those who are manipulated and misled
The guys who are unjustly abandoned
Never stayed down; jumped back up instead
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Ones who paused Grand Theft Auto 3
Just to reassure that everything is okay
Assisted the helpless girl in a certain degree
This is a tribute to the nice guys
For the times his friend didn't have a date
Still there was nothing serious
The ones that just agrees and never debate
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Those that don't often get enough recognition
The ones that don't get the mate they should
The ones that try to stop this tradition
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Those that heard he's too nice to date
Guys who wait in front of the bathroom
Just so she wouldn't be the only one late
This is a tribute to the nice guys
The one that tries to find the perfect girl
Even trickier, to find those that are single
This is for you, may your future unfurl
This is a tribute to the nice guys
For every time someone said we're just friends
This poem is for all you guys out there
This is a payment for my amends
This is a tribute to the nice guys
For all the faceless, nameless defenders
My accolades and gratitude goes out to you
Just never forget to never surrender
Date Written: 29/10/05
This is a tribute to the nice guys
The ones that always finish last
Those who are never more than friends
The one who understood girls in the past
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Who lasts hours filled with disappoint
To listen to the girl whine about arseholes
While disproving the very point
This is a tribute to the nice guys
The ones that compliments the miss
Not to get her to go out with him
But just to lift her spirit with bliss
This is a tribute to the nice guys
With open minds and an honest concern
The one that respects every facet
The one who needs nothing in return
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Who escort their drunken female friends
The one who wouldn't take advantage
Just so their friendship wouldn't end
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Who plays by the rules in a game
Even when that game favors cheaters
His actions are always the same
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Who accompany girls to bars as a buffer
To protect her with everything he has
Against the others so she won't suffer
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Boyfriend material is what he's named
Yet a few dozen failed relationships
After scratches, his heart starts to maim
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Those who are manipulated and misled
The guys who are unjustly abandoned
Never stayed down; jumped back up instead
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Ones who paused Grand Theft Auto 3
Just to reassure that everything is okay
Assisted the helpless girl in a certain degree
This is a tribute to the nice guys
For the times his friend didn't have a date
Still there was nothing serious
The ones that just agrees and never debate
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Those that don't often get enough recognition
The ones that don't get the mate they should
The ones that try to stop this tradition
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Those that heard he's too nice to date
Guys who wait in front of the bathroom
Just so she wouldn't be the only one late
This is a tribute to the nice guys
The one that tries to find the perfect girl
Even trickier, to find those that are single
This is for you, may your future unfurl
This is a tribute to the nice guys
For every time someone said we're just friends
This poem is for all you guys out there
This is a payment for my amends
This is a tribute to the nice guys
For all the faceless, nameless defenders
My accolades and gratitude goes out to you
Just never forget to never surrender
5 September 2007
Fading grace
Even if it's just for one moment,
embrace me in your arms
when it gets cold, be there to keep me warm
Even if it's just for one moment,
breath life into me, resurrect me,
show me there's still hope for me.
Even if it's just for one moment,
touch me, kiss me, love me,
reignite the passion within me.
just whisper sweet nothings in my ear,
take me away, i dont care where
Even if it's just for one moment,
make me forgetl; take this chance
to show me a world full of romance.
hold me even when the sun sets,
take me down memory lane
to the 1st day we met.
Even if it's just for one moment,
lets take our friendship to the next level,
in this moment, allow us to lose ourselves.
Even if it's just for one moment,
i'll trade it all, bring me
out of this loneliness,
surround me with happiness,
even if it's just for one moment,
i promise you, i'll treasure this moment.
it isnt written be me..
but well.. it's really nice..
really, Kampfen found this and thought it
suited him.. i hope you will see this..
Me: on the brink of death
lying on a bed of roses
wondering why it hurts
thorns through the flesh
hooking up through the petals
isnt enough to pierce the heart
this suffering is endless
why are you still hanging tough?
why wouldnt let me end this?
Kampfen: remember your words,
stand by them like i do,
you said to never close your eyes,
know what you are against.
"closing your eyes are akin to
your opponent would want your eyes shut,
they have an easy target"
thats how you taught me to fight
dont forget you also said
"fighting is like living life"
remeber those words?
live by them like i do..
dont let me die, let me live,
let me continue feeling the pain,
dont let me down,
continue the suffering and living
at least living in pain is better
than dying far before you are dead
embrace me in your arms
when it gets cold, be there to keep me warm
Even if it's just for one moment,
breath life into me, resurrect me,
show me there's still hope for me.
Even if it's just for one moment,
touch me, kiss me, love me,
reignite the passion within me.
just whisper sweet nothings in my ear,
take me away, i dont care where
Even if it's just for one moment,
make me forgetl; take this chance
to show me a world full of romance.
hold me even when the sun sets,
take me down memory lane
to the 1st day we met.
Even if it's just for one moment,
lets take our friendship to the next level,
in this moment, allow us to lose ourselves.
Even if it's just for one moment,
i'll trade it all, bring me
out of this loneliness,
surround me with happiness,
even if it's just for one moment,
i promise you, i'll treasure this moment.
it isnt written be me..
but well.. it's really nice..
really, Kampfen found this and thought it
suited him.. i hope you will see this..
Me: on the brink of death
lying on a bed of roses
wondering why it hurts
thorns through the flesh
hooking up through the petals
isnt enough to pierce the heart
this suffering is endless
why are you still hanging tough?
why wouldnt let me end this?
Kampfen: remember your words,
stand by them like i do,
you said to never close your eyes,
know what you are against.
"closing your eyes are akin to
your opponent would want your eyes shut,
they have an easy target"
thats how you taught me to fight
dont forget you also said
"fighting is like living life"
remeber those words?
live by them like i do..
dont let me die, let me live,
let me continue feeling the pain,
dont let me down,
continue the suffering and living
at least living in pain is better
than dying far before you are dead
3 September 2007
Masochist
the mind is breaking, heart is tearing up,
feeling extremely dellusional..
hysterical, you know why,
you dont know how it feels, you dont
know how distant it feels,
you dont know how much
the longing for someone breaks resolve up
what went wrong?
please, please tell him, he needs to know.
look at him.. he's ruining himself,
not when he just felt again,
not when he just dusted his heart
and placed it once more in himself..
i know, i know he failed to be there
once, just that once,
but at the rate he's going, come on,
he's not your boyfriend..
he cannot say "i caught your hint"
and just stay there with you.. true,
he wants to.. but you have to ask,
you have to make it seem like a friendly
favour, so that he wouldnt be too guilty,
bringing you out, defying his mom's plea
was much too much already..
cause this was not just him, this was not just
you and him.
please understand, cant you feel that he
is in pain.. and it scares me to watch his
distant eyes, his stone cold ignorance
that mirthless grin, he seems to love it,
he acts like he does.. but notice,
just a little sparkle of tear in his eye,
then you'll understand, understand that
he knows his life is drawing close to the end.
it hurts.. but somehow, he loves it,
the masochist, the more he suffers,
the nicer it seems.. but
he can no longer live in solitary..
that means one day, he will lose his
masochism and start hating the pain.
that will be the day, you watch someone
mutate into a living dead, a man
who dies before his body dies.
P.S : sorry, exams are drawing near,
the rest you should understand.
feeling extremely dellusional..
hysterical, you know why,
you dont know how it feels, you dont
know how distant it feels,
you dont know how much
the longing for someone breaks resolve up
what went wrong?
please, please tell him, he needs to know.
look at him.. he's ruining himself,
not when he just felt again,
not when he just dusted his heart
and placed it once more in himself..
i know, i know he failed to be there
once, just that once,
but at the rate he's going, come on,
he's not your boyfriend..
he cannot say "i caught your hint"
and just stay there with you.. true,
he wants to.. but you have to ask,
you have to make it seem like a friendly
favour, so that he wouldnt be too guilty,
bringing you out, defying his mom's plea
was much too much already..
cause this was not just him, this was not just
you and him.
please understand, cant you feel that he
is in pain.. and it scares me to watch his
distant eyes, his stone cold ignorance
that mirthless grin, he seems to love it,
he acts like he does.. but notice,
just a little sparkle of tear in his eye,
then you'll understand, understand that
he knows his life is drawing close to the end.
it hurts.. but somehow, he loves it,
the masochist, the more he suffers,
the nicer it seems.. but
he can no longer live in solitary..
that means one day, he will lose his
masochism and start hating the pain.
that will be the day, you watch someone
mutate into a living dead, a man
who dies before his body dies.
P.S : sorry, exams are drawing near,
the rest you should understand.
2 September 2007
Kampfen
this story told once by many,
shall once again be told by me.
Kampfen a buddy of mine,
was once a passionate fool,
he believed in love so much
he was bound to suffer.
he loved well, with all his heart
but she had never appreciated this fool.
one day he told her to stop lying,
she said she had no lies,
a week flies by and true the ship has sunk.
he thus lost a little faith, struggling on,
he decided to try once more.
a few hours past and the crew parted
before the ship was set to sail.
Kampfen has then lost his heart,
he had taken out his heart,
the heart capable of phantasmal
love and fed it to the dust.
Or should we say,
the world he lived in causes such
and that his life was tough?
this made Kampfen lose his feelings,
he wasnt human, more a robot,
operated on logics and assumptions,
his rights, his wrongs.
no one mattered, the definition
of his love was the physical intimacy,
the hour long fornication and the
friend he has for that night.
nothing else matters, he no longer felt pain,
happiness seemed distant but he didnt care.
he must let no one hurt him again.
and if he didnt love, no one could hurt him.
to him, loving is hurting.
but he couldnt see then, that hurting is
but only part of loving, there was still
much much more.
he never knew what was fear, he had no fears,
he faced death in the eyes, jumping
from roofs to roofs, from stories high,
to the levelled ground.
he walked across busy streets and he fought
with life as the stake.
then, a faithful encounter,
that one day changed his life,
that one very day altered the core of his resolve,
he was set to feel again.
he set his eyes on a special girl and he felt
his heart palpitating, fluttery,
with unbated beats slowly becoming rapid.
he soon came to search for his heart,
abandoning the thoughts that flesh on flesh
was indeed the only source of happiness,
retracing his steps and correcting the wrongs,
he must rebuild himself.
then, this lady he liked, seemed all too
unpredictable,
after he left his heart behind,
there was never once, not a single once,
had his mind been in a frenzy,
logic now defies him, he is afraid to make
false moves, and that had incurred her wrath.
now he thinks she finds him repungent,
he very much wants to apologise,
but it never seems to work..
he is already starting to lose
the meaning of his name
hey my dear friend.. dont worry..
you are now human again.. and one
day your love be reciprocated..
we all just wait and see.. dont be afraid.
shall once again be told by me.
Kampfen a buddy of mine,
was once a passionate fool,
he believed in love so much
he was bound to suffer.
he loved well, with all his heart
but she had never appreciated this fool.
one day he told her to stop lying,
she said she had no lies,
a week flies by and true the ship has sunk.
he thus lost a little faith, struggling on,
he decided to try once more.
a few hours past and the crew parted
before the ship was set to sail.
Kampfen has then lost his heart,
he had taken out his heart,
the heart capable of phantasmal
love and fed it to the dust.
Or should we say,
the world he lived in causes such
and that his life was tough?
this made Kampfen lose his feelings,
he wasnt human, more a robot,
operated on logics and assumptions,
his rights, his wrongs.
no one mattered, the definition
of his love was the physical intimacy,
the hour long fornication and the
friend he has for that night.
nothing else matters, he no longer felt pain,
happiness seemed distant but he didnt care.
he must let no one hurt him again.
and if he didnt love, no one could hurt him.
to him, loving is hurting.
but he couldnt see then, that hurting is
but only part of loving, there was still
much much more.
he never knew what was fear, he had no fears,
he faced death in the eyes, jumping
from roofs to roofs, from stories high,
to the levelled ground.
he walked across busy streets and he fought
with life as the stake.
then, a faithful encounter,
that one day changed his life,
that one very day altered the core of his resolve,
he was set to feel again.
he set his eyes on a special girl and he felt
his heart palpitating, fluttery,
with unbated beats slowly becoming rapid.
he soon came to search for his heart,
abandoning the thoughts that flesh on flesh
was indeed the only source of happiness,
retracing his steps and correcting the wrongs,
he must rebuild himself.
then, this lady he liked, seemed all too
unpredictable,
after he left his heart behind,
there was never once, not a single once,
had his mind been in a frenzy,
logic now defies him, he is afraid to make
false moves, and that had incurred her wrath.
now he thinks she finds him repungent,
he very much wants to apologise,
but it never seems to work..
he is already starting to lose
the meaning of his name
hey my dear friend.. dont worry..
you are now human again.. and one
day your love be reciprocated..
we all just wait and see.. dont be afraid.
24 August 2007
Suicidal
In a little home, all alone; there once lived a girl,
beautiful, 5 feet 7, her hairs had lovely curls.
She loved a guy, more than she ever loved her life,
and waited for the day, to be recognised as his wife.
she treated him like a gift sent from heavens above,
& often said, he taught her the true meaning of love.
She longed to be in his arms, holding onto his hands,
he was everything to her - a lover and a best friend.
He too loved the girl from the botton of his heart,
he had a strong belief that none can do them part.
The only obstacle was, he was too far from her,
maybe 530 miles, i'm unsure what the numbers were.
At times she talks to him of one of her friends,
saying he's the one on whom she can always depend,
he often asked "Oh! Well, then what am i to you?!"
She replied, "you've made my dreams come true."
"you're the one whom i think of all day and night,
you've filled my life with happiness and delight.
Whenever i close my eyes, it's only you i see,
i love you more than my life, you're everything to me."
It was her best friend, she always talked about,
something's going on, now the guy started to doubt.
At times he's like a glass filled with anger to the brim,
he thought an affair was on between her and him.
At times he thought how much she speaks is true,
he wanted her to prove when she said "i love you"
he often asked "why don't you value what you say?"
and she always replied "why do you feel that way?"
The distance between them had a serious impact,
and soon, like the start, nothing was perfect.
The girls effort to stay with him didn't last too long,
lovely melody of her life turned to a monotonous song.
With thoughts of doubt each and every passing day,
their trust was breaking & their love fading away.
Time went on slowly and nothing could be fine,
doubts in his mind kept showing their shine.
She missed him and her nights were passing in a cry,
she sent him many letters, he didn't send any replies.
No words can describe, the pain she was going through,
she didn't know how to get to him or what else to do.
She talked to his friends and asked his number,
but he wasn't interested and kept ignoring her.
Poor her tried to search for him in things all around,
and at the times she needed him, he was never found.
He never showed concerns for her, he never even cared,
the pain she was living, couldn't be compared.
The girl was really hurt, she committed suicide,
the news next day read "girl, 20, yesterday died..."
In a room locked from inside, her body was found,
stained in blood, next to the bed, lying upon the ground.
In her left hand, she clasped a note,
upon the letter, her last words she wrote.
"When you read this, i wouldn't be here with you,
but that does not mean, my love was never true.
Who was that guy Honey? He was nothing to me,
you were my life, i wished you could see...
"I would love you for eternity", was your promise,
but you didn't trust my love for you and i hate this.
Now you have broken the promise you once made,
i'm going far away with a slice of the blade.
I loved you with all my heart and i forever do,
but what's the purpose of living, if i'm not with you?
Maybe i wasn't your girl or you couldn't see,
that you were my life, my everything to me.
With a last wish, to see your face,
i'm going to the heavens above, in God's embrace.
Remember, no one can love you the way i loved you,
every word of promise, was cent percent true.
This is my last present for you, for what you've done,
i'm going to a place, from where i'll never come.
As you'll read this and i'm in the heavens up above,
maybe then you'd realise, the thing called true love."
It was never meant to be this way, with a weep,
now she's lying in her grave, forever in deep sleep.
See that doubts for sure, can cause a relation's death,
so don't ever let doubts take away your last breath.
beautiful, 5 feet 7, her hairs had lovely curls.
She loved a guy, more than she ever loved her life,
and waited for the day, to be recognised as his wife.
she treated him like a gift sent from heavens above,
& often said, he taught her the true meaning of love.
She longed to be in his arms, holding onto his hands,
he was everything to her - a lover and a best friend.
He too loved the girl from the botton of his heart,
he had a strong belief that none can do them part.
The only obstacle was, he was too far from her,
maybe 530 miles, i'm unsure what the numbers were.
At times she talks to him of one of her friends,
saying he's the one on whom she can always depend,
he often asked "Oh! Well, then what am i to you?!"
She replied, "you've made my dreams come true."
"you're the one whom i think of all day and night,
you've filled my life with happiness and delight.
Whenever i close my eyes, it's only you i see,
i love you more than my life, you're everything to me."
It was her best friend, she always talked about,
something's going on, now the guy started to doubt.
At times he's like a glass filled with anger to the brim,
he thought an affair was on between her and him.
At times he thought how much she speaks is true,
he wanted her to prove when she said "i love you"
he often asked "why don't you value what you say?"
and she always replied "why do you feel that way?"
The distance between them had a serious impact,
and soon, like the start, nothing was perfect.
The girls effort to stay with him didn't last too long,
lovely melody of her life turned to a monotonous song.
With thoughts of doubt each and every passing day,
their trust was breaking & their love fading away.
Time went on slowly and nothing could be fine,
doubts in his mind kept showing their shine.
She missed him and her nights were passing in a cry,
she sent him many letters, he didn't send any replies.
No words can describe, the pain she was going through,
she didn't know how to get to him or what else to do.
She talked to his friends and asked his number,
but he wasn't interested and kept ignoring her.
Poor her tried to search for him in things all around,
and at the times she needed him, he was never found.
He never showed concerns for her, he never even cared,
the pain she was living, couldn't be compared.
The girl was really hurt, she committed suicide,
the news next day read "girl, 20, yesterday died..."
In a room locked from inside, her body was found,
stained in blood, next to the bed, lying upon the ground.
In her left hand, she clasped a note,
upon the letter, her last words she wrote.
"When you read this, i wouldn't be here with you,
but that does not mean, my love was never true.
Who was that guy Honey? He was nothing to me,
you were my life, i wished you could see...
"I would love you for eternity", was your promise,
but you didn't trust my love for you and i hate this.
Now you have broken the promise you once made,
i'm going far away with a slice of the blade.
I loved you with all my heart and i forever do,
but what's the purpose of living, if i'm not with you?
Maybe i wasn't your girl or you couldn't see,
that you were my life, my everything to me.
With a last wish, to see your face,
i'm going to the heavens above, in God's embrace.
Remember, no one can love you the way i loved you,
every word of promise, was cent percent true.
This is my last present for you, for what you've done,
i'm going to a place, from where i'll never come.
As you'll read this and i'm in the heavens up above,
maybe then you'd realise, the thing called true love."
It was never meant to be this way, with a weep,
now she's lying in her grave, forever in deep sleep.
See that doubts for sure, can cause a relation's death,
so don't ever let doubts take away your last breath.
20 August 2007
Try to understand. just try. but dont try too hard
Vienna - Billy Joel
Slow down you crazy child
you're so ambitious for a juvenile
but then if you're so smart, tell me
why are you still so afraid?
where's the fire what's the hurry about?
you'd better cool it off before you burn it out
you've got so much to do
and only so many hours in a day
but you know when the truth is told..
that you can get what you want or you can just get old
you're gonna kick of before you're even
get halfway through
when will you realise? Vienna waits for you
Slow down you're doing fine
you can't be everything you want to be before your time
although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight..
tonight..
too bad but it's the life you lead
you're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need
though you can see when you're wrong, you know
you can't always see when you're right. you're right
you've got your passion, you've got your pride
but don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true.
when will you realise? Vienna waits for you.
Slow down you crazy child
and take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile
it's alright, you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realise? Vienna waits for you
and when you know the truth is told..
that you can get what you want or you can just get old
why don't you realise? Vienna waits for you
When will you realise? Vienna waits for you
in comemoration of my words
the words i shall never speak, the words to offer my bosom,
my touch, my care and concern. true, sometimes,
you just need to relax, chill out and you know, that you've
always got somewhere to run to.
"a pragmatist, a rationalist who didn't give due credit to the
influence of emotions and pent up sentiments"
used to describe a political leader.. but how so true is it,
when applied in description of myself and probably,
all of the rest of us out there.
but you should know, beneath the strength, always lies
a greater weakness.. the stronger one appears to be,
the weaker he is inside..
Why? why is HE so soft now? When HIS life had been
a hard one to live?
That's cause he had gone insane, insane due to his
everchanging viewpoints of the different connotations
of love.. Intimacy; a by-product of love,
this was never his thoughts, never when his heart
sunk from the defeat of unconditional love.
now, he will try it once more..
for he has felt that god was no longer with him..
and he has choosen to forgive himself
and ask god to once again forgive him,
to stay with him. in his quest to find this
belief in emotions and thus, love once more.
'respect her being, honour her purity'
he shall stand by these words.
i promised to be there, i promised i will stay.
but will you allow me to fulfil my promise?
and always remember, no one can be blamed,
for loss of relationships, so i command unto
thee, to be free of all things that prove
to be hindrances, and proceed onwards
as your heart commands. it pains to ignore
the heart. =D
when will you realise? Vienna waits for you
Slow down you crazy child
you're so ambitious for a juvenile
but then if you're so smart, tell me
why are you still so afraid?
where's the fire what's the hurry about?
you'd better cool it off before you burn it out
you've got so much to do
and only so many hours in a day
but you know when the truth is told..
that you can get what you want or you can just get old
you're gonna kick of before you're even
get halfway through
when will you realise? Vienna waits for you
Slow down you're doing fine
you can't be everything you want to be before your time
although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight..
tonight..
too bad but it's the life you lead
you're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need
though you can see when you're wrong, you know
you can't always see when you're right. you're right
you've got your passion, you've got your pride
but don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true.
when will you realise? Vienna waits for you.
Slow down you crazy child
and take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile
it's alright, you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realise? Vienna waits for you
and when you know the truth is told..
that you can get what you want or you can just get old
why don't you realise? Vienna waits for you
When will you realise? Vienna waits for you
in comemoration of my words
the words i shall never speak, the words to offer my bosom,
my touch, my care and concern. true, sometimes,
you just need to relax, chill out and you know, that you've
always got somewhere to run to.
"a pragmatist, a rationalist who didn't give due credit to the
influence of emotions and pent up sentiments"
used to describe a political leader.. but how so true is it,
when applied in description of myself and probably,
all of the rest of us out there.
but you should know, beneath the strength, always lies
a greater weakness.. the stronger one appears to be,
the weaker he is inside..
Why? why is HE so soft now? When HIS life had been
a hard one to live?
That's cause he had gone insane, insane due to his
everchanging viewpoints of the different connotations
of love.. Intimacy; a by-product of love,
this was never his thoughts, never when his heart
sunk from the defeat of unconditional love.
now, he will try it once more..
for he has felt that god was no longer with him..
and he has choosen to forgive himself
and ask god to once again forgive him,
to stay with him. in his quest to find this
belief in emotions and thus, love once more.
'respect her being, honour her purity'
he shall stand by these words.
i promised to be there, i promised i will stay.
but will you allow me to fulfil my promise?
and always remember, no one can be blamed,
for loss of relationships, so i command unto
thee, to be free of all things that prove
to be hindrances, and proceed onwards
as your heart commands. it pains to ignore
the heart. =D
when will you realise? Vienna waits for you
15 August 2007
All For the Heck Of it..
Another night, After Rugby training.
Act II, Scene I : In the toilet outside the gym.
Enter Fade, Freak, Stickman
Stickman: What? You mean he really is Bi?
Freak,Fade(in unison): OF COURSE..
Freak: What? you think we'd be kidding about his sexuality
*Gawffaws* We wouldn't be doing that for 5 years now right?
Fade: Hell no.. Yeah.. see, open options, So i wouldn't get bored,
UNLIKE someone.. -eyes Freak.
Stickman: Well, i don't wanna get into those relationships too,
cause i'm worried of getting bored.. Since, i am heterosexual
too.. Lucky me.. i'm gonna hold out til marriage man..
Freak: Now marriage would be different man.. sex for love is
not intercourse, it's SEX.. different.. but for intercourse,
open options, Giving or receiving, certainly proved advantageous..
Fade: YAMAN! That's what i do man.. Everyone ought to be like me.
Freak: Uhhhh.. i think i'm still fine the way i am..
Stickman: Yeah.. me too.
Act II, Scene II: Still in the toilet
Enter Mary.(just out of the showers)
Mary: What? You mean being bi has advantages??
Fade: *checks Mary out*
Stickman: well according to them.. but from what they say, i agree too.
*eyes wide, mouth agape*-when he realises what Fade was doing-
DUDE! what are you doing? Stop checking my friend out!
Fade: Well, he had to walk out in his undies..
Stickman: now you wouldn't check him out if you were a girl right?
Would you?
Fade: i don't know man..
Mary: *just recovered from shock* Nah~ you wouldn't
if you haven't noticed, i'm not exactly one of the very hot guys.
Fade: At least you have the chest.
Mary: Look at freak, he's wayyy better than me.
Freak: No man.. i don't exactly look very good man..
Stickman: no actually you are one of the better looking guys in school.
Mary, Fade (unison): yupp.
Fade: In school yeah..
(cut off by Freak)
Freak: well, IN school, outside, maybe just bearly average.
Mary: We cant really hook girls if we're not good looking.
Freak: Actually, No.. we can..
Fade: Y'know, a girl can go for a fat guy but a guy will never go for a fat
girl.
Freak: there you go..
Mary: Really? how come?
Freak: it's just nature's law, guys don't really have to be afraid of looks,
they just need charisma..
Stickman: We set? lets go outside and continue, cause it's way too wrong
to be standing in a toilet talking about stuff like that.
So they left the toilet and went along to buy a drink and sit for a chat,
Stickman left early for tuition he doesn't need. Freak, Fade and Mary
chatted for another hour or so.
Act II, Scene I : In the toilet outside the gym.
Enter Fade, Freak, Stickman
Stickman: What? You mean he really is Bi?
Freak,Fade(in unison): OF COURSE..
Freak: What? you think we'd be kidding about his sexuality
*Gawffaws* We wouldn't be doing that for 5 years now right?
Fade: Hell no.. Yeah.. see, open options, So i wouldn't get bored,
UNLIKE someone.. -eyes Freak.
Stickman: Well, i don't wanna get into those relationships too,
cause i'm worried of getting bored.. Since, i am heterosexual
too.. Lucky me.. i'm gonna hold out til marriage man..
Freak: Now marriage would be different man.. sex for love is
not intercourse, it's SEX.. different.. but for intercourse,
open options, Giving or receiving, certainly proved advantageous..
Fade: YAMAN! That's what i do man.. Everyone ought to be like me.
Freak: Uhhhh.. i think i'm still fine the way i am..
Stickman: Yeah.. me too.
Act II, Scene II: Still in the toilet
Enter Mary.(just out of the showers)
Mary: What? You mean being bi has advantages??
Fade: *checks Mary out*
Stickman: well according to them.. but from what they say, i agree too.
*eyes wide, mouth agape*-when he realises what Fade was doing-
DUDE! what are you doing? Stop checking my friend out!
Fade: Well, he had to walk out in his undies..
Stickman: now you wouldn't check him out if you were a girl right?
Would you?
Fade: i don't know man..
Mary: *just recovered from shock* Nah~ you wouldn't
if you haven't noticed, i'm not exactly one of the very hot guys.
Fade: At least you have the chest.
Mary: Look at freak, he's wayyy better than me.
Freak: No man.. i don't exactly look very good man..
Stickman: no actually you are one of the better looking guys in school.
Mary, Fade (unison): yupp.
Fade: In school yeah..
(cut off by Freak)
Freak: well, IN school, outside, maybe just bearly average.
Mary: We cant really hook girls if we're not good looking.
Freak: Actually, No.. we can..
Fade: Y'know, a girl can go for a fat guy but a guy will never go for a fat
girl.
Freak: there you go..
Mary: Really? how come?
Freak: it's just nature's law, guys don't really have to be afraid of looks,
they just need charisma..
Stickman: We set? lets go outside and continue, cause it's way too wrong
to be standing in a toilet talking about stuff like that.
So they left the toilet and went along to buy a drink and sit for a chat,
Stickman left early for tuition he doesn't need. Freak, Fade and Mary
chatted for another hour or so.
13 August 2007
All For the Heck Of it.. A night in the Freak's life
Act I Scene I: Leaving MacDonalds' TPY-1
Entr' Act, Fade, Freak
Freak: y'know i'm getting sick of this stuff?
Uncommisioned unofficial 'connections' and all..
Fade: Now, since when did you recently have it?
Freak: well, the 2 weeks holiday thingy? the one with
OBS and all? Well, hooked up a 14 year old one.
Felt like Puking after that...
Fade: Oh~ why? cause you cant puke down there you
gotta puke up there?
Freak: Nah~ i puked fine down there but i just felt sick
after that.. like, it no longer means any fun to me..
Fade: Now that's why you've gotta keep your options open,
so you won't get bored.. Look at me, i can give and recieve.
Freak: *raised eyebrow* i think i'm quite fine the way i am.
Closing: Fades down the flight of stairs.
Act I Scene II:
Entr' Act: Fade, Freak
At the open area down the flight of stairs, towards JTC.
Fade: Maybe if you get your fetish, you wont be so bored?
Freak: Maybe... But remember mine isn't all weird?
Not like spanking or uniforms and all?
Hot girls with full back tattoos aint easy to come by y'know?
Fade: well yeah~ too bad.
Freak: Skip the topic man.. Long way?
Fade: i've gotta hit J8 so ok..
-as they walked along, their lighthearted heart-to-heart speech
carries on.. fading into the dark of the distance with a Songka band
playing as if to soothe the singing of the crickets in the late evening moonshine.
Entr' Act, Fade, Freak
Freak: y'know i'm getting sick of this stuff?
Uncommisioned unofficial 'connections' and all..
Fade: Now, since when did you recently have it?
Freak: well, the 2 weeks holiday thingy? the one with
OBS and all? Well, hooked up a 14 year old one.
Felt like Puking after that...
Fade: Oh~ why? cause you cant puke down there you
gotta puke up there?
Freak: Nah~ i puked fine down there but i just felt sick
after that.. like, it no longer means any fun to me..
Fade: Now that's why you've gotta keep your options open,
so you won't get bored.. Look at me, i can give and recieve.
Freak: *raised eyebrow* i think i'm quite fine the way i am.
Closing: Fades down the flight of stairs.
Act I Scene II:
Entr' Act: Fade, Freak
At the open area down the flight of stairs, towards JTC.
Fade: Maybe if you get your fetish, you wont be so bored?
Freak: Maybe... But remember mine isn't all weird?
Not like spanking or uniforms and all?
Hot girls with full back tattoos aint easy to come by y'know?
Fade: well yeah~ too bad.
Freak: Skip the topic man.. Long way?
Fade: i've gotta hit J8 so ok..
-as they walked along, their lighthearted heart-to-heart speech
carries on.. fading into the dark of the distance with a Songka band
playing as if to soothe the singing of the crickets in the late evening moonshine.
12 August 2007
damn this life sucks
i witnessed your futile attempts to spite me,
same location, different emotions
i didnt make the wrong choice
to be just friends(:
friends come and go in your life,
vincent, kejun, weisheng, kai
you'll always be fondly remembered in my heart
these memories always remain,
but the people, sadly dont stay
to my buddy.
we've been drifting,
the meetups with you dont seem as heartwarming anymore
there are times i hesitate
before i confide in you,the speech is limited,
time constraints are ever present,
different cliques, different environments
the lack of effort present
those heart to heart talks,those tears we shed
i know, will only be be extant fragments
for me to reminiscise upon
because i know,we'll never be how we used to be anymore
perhaps time will let you notice the distance between us
i miss you buddy, where are you?
perfect strangers, we'll soon become...
That post, hurt me further than one can imagine.
it feels worse than my skin being ripped from my flesh.
this friend i hold more dear than my life..
is now telling me we are no longer that tight..
happiness is said to be found in the simplest things,
loveing another w/o returns can also be a joy..
but what if you had once this love back?
won't you miss it more than anything..
it ain't the kinda fragile love we had,
it was the love of a family, the love that can last a life.
but now the distance between us never seemed greater,
telling myself it wasn't there and i was just oversensitive.
why did you have to point it out?
why did you have to make it so real?
it's like a sound in my head, slowly resonating,
never fading.
i miss you too.. we knew this would happen
but remember our promise to be there at the end of the road,
to study in the same uni,
don't ever forget that, and when we are once again close
to each other, we can again catch up and progress with each other.
never shall we be strangers.
same location, different emotions
i didnt make the wrong choice
to be just friends(:
friends come and go in your life,
vincent, kejun, weisheng, kai
you'll always be fondly remembered in my heart
these memories always remain,
but the people, sadly dont stay
to my buddy.
we've been drifting,
the meetups with you dont seem as heartwarming anymore
there are times i hesitate
before i confide in you,the speech is limited,
time constraints are ever present,
different cliques, different environments
the lack of effort present
those heart to heart talks,those tears we shed
i know, will only be be extant fragments
for me to reminiscise upon
because i know,we'll never be how we used to be anymore
perhaps time will let you notice the distance between us
i miss you buddy, where are you?
perfect strangers, we'll soon become...
That post, hurt me further than one can imagine.
it feels worse than my skin being ripped from my flesh.
this friend i hold more dear than my life..
is now telling me we are no longer that tight..
happiness is said to be found in the simplest things,
loveing another w/o returns can also be a joy..
but what if you had once this love back?
won't you miss it more than anything..
it ain't the kinda fragile love we had,
it was the love of a family, the love that can last a life.
but now the distance between us never seemed greater,
telling myself it wasn't there and i was just oversensitive.
why did you have to point it out?
why did you have to make it so real?
it's like a sound in my head, slowly resonating,
never fading.
i miss you too.. we knew this would happen
but remember our promise to be there at the end of the road,
to study in the same uni,
don't ever forget that, and when we are once again close
to each other, we can again catch up and progress with each other.
never shall we be strangers.
10 August 2007
anybody disagrees?
everyone says "pursue your dreams, pursue your dreams"
"follow your heart, do what you like, not what you were told"
but how many people actually are allowed to pursue their dreams?
in our lives, to pursue our dreams,
as kids, we faithfully wait for opportunities.
but many a time, when it arises, we are afraid, we are afraid to venture.
but not only so, some of us, do not even get these opportunities,
so we give up, we know that we are getting old,
we lose ambitions and we settle, that's how pathetic we are.
it's sad, demoralising, how many people have dreams, all of us..
how many can actually realise our dreams? not many...
we then have to lie to ourselves.
to keep ourselves hanging above the line, not wanting to subject
ourselves to the same old pitiful and mundane life story.
But the thing is, pursuing a passion indeed takes alot,
scarificing almost everything you have.. your comfortable life,
your lover, your time, your money..
almost everything.. most people do not have this kind of drive.
so what do they do?
they settle, settle for a job, or even a spouse that is
convenient, average or 'okay'.
so when asked, why do you do this?
he'll answer, "oh, cause it's okay" or "it pays the bills"
and the most classic, "it sucks, but it's a job, it isn't supposed to be fun"
that's the state our society is in now.. but can we really help it?
"follow your heart, do what you like, not what you were told"
but how many people actually are allowed to pursue their dreams?
in our lives, to pursue our dreams,
as kids, we faithfully wait for opportunities.
but many a time, when it arises, we are afraid, we are afraid to venture.
but not only so, some of us, do not even get these opportunities,
so we give up, we know that we are getting old,
we lose ambitions and we settle, that's how pathetic we are.
it's sad, demoralising, how many people have dreams, all of us..
how many can actually realise our dreams? not many...
we then have to lie to ourselves.
to keep ourselves hanging above the line, not wanting to subject
ourselves to the same old pitiful and mundane life story.
But the thing is, pursuing a passion indeed takes alot,
scarificing almost everything you have.. your comfortable life,
your lover, your time, your money..
almost everything.. most people do not have this kind of drive.
so what do they do?
they settle, settle for a job, or even a spouse that is
convenient, average or 'okay'.
so when asked, why do you do this?
he'll answer, "oh, cause it's okay" or "it pays the bills"
and the most classic, "it sucks, but it's a job, it isn't supposed to be fun"
that's the state our society is in now.. but can we really help it?
9 August 2007
Lost Love. Or Lost Direction..
Life is getting very bleak
i don't think i will find the love i seek.
the future is seemingly black
and i know there is now going back
The chances for success
are becoming less and less
i've poured out my soul and heart
and we still remain miles apart.
my love for her is so deep
it even robs me of my sleep
i'm in so much pain
maybe a deep blade into the vein.
do you think that this signifies the losing
of love or the losing of one's direction in life?
i mean after we lose something dear to us,
we cease to believe in something,
we lose a part of us and become different.
during a divorce, you do not get divided..
no.. u get diverted. les divertes
you are FORCED to change your way.
you need to replan your life,
edit and change your calander, ur schdule,
readjust to quiet thursday nights without
her.
your friday nights are blissful with friends.
but your bliss is shortlived now,
cause you know when you reach home,
you have to face the walls alone,
you slam back to bed.
i don't think i will find the love i seek.
the future is seemingly black
and i know there is now going back
The chances for success
are becoming less and less
i've poured out my soul and heart
and we still remain miles apart.
my love for her is so deep
it even robs me of my sleep
i'm in so much pain
maybe a deep blade into the vein.
do you think that this signifies the losing
of love or the losing of one's direction in life?
i mean after we lose something dear to us,
we cease to believe in something,
we lose a part of us and become different.
during a divorce, you do not get divided..
no.. u get diverted. les divertes
you are FORCED to change your way.
you need to replan your life,
edit and change your calander, ur schdule,
readjust to quiet thursday nights without
her.
your friday nights are blissful with friends.
but your bliss is shortlived now,
cause you know when you reach home,
you have to face the walls alone,
you slam back to bed.
5 August 2007
life's lesson learnt?
The best teachers in life,
are not people who bring you to your destination.
They are the ones who show you many ways,
and you will have to choose your own,
then they will become useless to you,
they can not help you anymore for
you have taken the path of your choice
of which they have no knowledge about.
life is like cycling, and cycling alone is quite boring.
and just like any long cycling trip,
many people will give up, even your friends,
you will go out on your own journey,
meeting friends who will cycle with you,
as you cycle and the fatigue builds up,
you will start watching friends give up,
one-by-one. but you cannot stop,
you cannot stop because you are aware
that our time is limited,
you leave them behind, now you are alone,
you want to give up, you don't know where you should go,
you notice a certain van, you decide to hang on to this van,
the van called routines.
that is how most of our lives become.
but is that what we want, yes, routines
make life so much easier, we can go on,
without thinking,
that's when we die when we are alive,
we become blind to the changes and wonders
around us, we cease to feel miracles,
we no longer remember the questions we ask as kids.
"who is GOD?"
"why can't we do what we want?"
"why must we pray?"
"why must we go to churh?"
"why is it we don't have to work as kids?"
so they lose all the questions?
or is it that we have, over the years resigned
to the fact that we live to follow designated paths.
when the WorldTradeCenter crashed in 11/9/01,
the world was in a frenzy to move the debris,
in hope to find life.
most of the lives that had already resigned to routines,
in a way, they were liberated.
but if you take this lesson spiritually,
you will know that deep inside,
routine has long crashed our soul,
our dreams covered in debris,
lets all try to change that, break away
from our comfort zone, do things that we don't
usually do.
are not people who bring you to your destination.
They are the ones who show you many ways,
and you will have to choose your own,
then they will become useless to you,
they can not help you anymore for
you have taken the path of your choice
of which they have no knowledge about.
life is like cycling, and cycling alone is quite boring.
and just like any long cycling trip,
many people will give up, even your friends,
you will go out on your own journey,
meeting friends who will cycle with you,
as you cycle and the fatigue builds up,
you will start watching friends give up,
one-by-one. but you cannot stop,
you cannot stop because you are aware
that our time is limited,
you leave them behind, now you are alone,
you want to give up, you don't know where you should go,
you notice a certain van, you decide to hang on to this van,
the van called routines.
that is how most of our lives become.
but is that what we want, yes, routines
make life so much easier, we can go on,
without thinking,
that's when we die when we are alive,
we become blind to the changes and wonders
around us, we cease to feel miracles,
we no longer remember the questions we ask as kids.
"who is GOD?"
"why can't we do what we want?"
"why must we pray?"
"why must we go to churh?"
"why is it we don't have to work as kids?"
so they lose all the questions?
or is it that we have, over the years resigned
to the fact that we live to follow designated paths.
when the WorldTradeCenter crashed in 11/9/01,
the world was in a frenzy to move the debris,
in hope to find life.
most of the lives that had already resigned to routines,
in a way, they were liberated.
but if you take this lesson spiritually,
you will know that deep inside,
routine has long crashed our soul,
our dreams covered in debris,
lets all try to change that, break away
from our comfort zone, do things that we don't
usually do.
2 August 2007
Pride, Honour, Glory.
you know, i don't get my title..
but i'll just try to blog about something relavent..
i mean, that's the whole bloody point to it.
i'm so tired, so tired of it..
i mean i am prideful too, sometimes, too much,
i understand.. but i don't get those people who
can waver so much to their pride,
some people whom i'm only aquainted,
though i don't know them but stories are enough.
if only one person tells me a story,
i sure as hell wouldn't take it for real.
but if i hear more than one story,
about the same guy, about the same thing,
i might believe,
i still will not judge but this is a reflection
of my thoughts on those who hold their pride
above everything else they have and do.
yes, these people look for girlfriends,
these people cannot let go,
these people will still save their pride
no matter what,
i seriously believe that if your girlfriend
means less than your pride,
don't get a girl, you'll only hurt her
and yourself.. you must be thinking right now,
'what is this guy saying?'
well, i'm not saying guys shouldn't have pride,
i'm saying, we should keep it in check,
our girls deserve better,
i'm not saying we MUST always give in,
i'm saying, we should try to give in once in awhile.
she has her social cycle, if she has guy friends,
jealousy is allowed.. but some go to extremes man..
you can be jealous but please, think,
if you guys quarrel? some other guy might be
the one patching you guys up.. or mayb,
u want her to only talk to u,
you wanna be her world?
ever read my previous post?
"give another your bread; but eat not of the same loaf"
that means that both of you should still have your own lives,
why do you think that permenance
can be maintained by possesion?
it won't happen, both of you will tire out..
you are never ready to love when
you can't put her abouve what you so egoistically want.
"Above all, guard your heart; for it's the wellspring of life"-Proverbs 4:23
but i'll just try to blog about something relavent..
i mean, that's the whole bloody point to it.
i'm so tired, so tired of it..
i mean i am prideful too, sometimes, too much,
i understand.. but i don't get those people who
can waver so much to their pride,
some people whom i'm only aquainted,
though i don't know them but stories are enough.
if only one person tells me a story,
i sure as hell wouldn't take it for real.
but if i hear more than one story,
about the same guy, about the same thing,
i might believe,
i still will not judge but this is a reflection
of my thoughts on those who hold their pride
above everything else they have and do.
yes, these people look for girlfriends,
these people cannot let go,
these people will still save their pride
no matter what,
i seriously believe that if your girlfriend
means less than your pride,
don't get a girl, you'll only hurt her
and yourself.. you must be thinking right now,
'what is this guy saying?'
well, i'm not saying guys shouldn't have pride,
i'm saying, we should keep it in check,
our girls deserve better,
i'm not saying we MUST always give in,
i'm saying, we should try to give in once in awhile.
she has her social cycle, if she has guy friends,
jealousy is allowed.. but some go to extremes man..
you can be jealous but please, think,
if you guys quarrel? some other guy might be
the one patching you guys up.. or mayb,
u want her to only talk to u,
you wanna be her world?
ever read my previous post?
"give another your bread; but eat not of the same loaf"
that means that both of you should still have your own lives,
why do you think that permenance
can be maintained by possesion?
it won't happen, both of you will tire out..
you are never ready to love when
you can't put her abouve what you so egoistically want.
"Above all, guard your heart; for it's the wellspring of life"-Proverbs 4:23
1 August 2007
Dishevelled
Remember times when you
can't even pick yourself up?
not with your faithful chocolate and all,
and your candies doesn't seem to help too.
then what else do you have? hope.
when Pandora, just like Eve, succumbed to
curiousity and opened the box which Zeus
so strongly warned her against opening,
she release all of them evils and only hope
remained, that's why in times of despair,
we always blindly turn to hope..
but can hoping change anything?
now don't mean to spoil your wonderous
mood and all.. but,
think about this, when you are hoping,
what do you hope for? things to get better?
or for things not to get worse?
didn't you already realise that
things cant get worse?
or didn't u realise that nothing comes
better than they are supposed to be?
haha.. now u can choose to trust in hope..
but a fool will only believe in himself
and trust other fools that believes in him.
can't even pick yourself up?
not with your faithful chocolate and all,
and your candies doesn't seem to help too.
then what else do you have? hope.
when Pandora, just like Eve, succumbed to
curiousity and opened the box which Zeus
so strongly warned her against opening,
she release all of them evils and only hope
remained, that's why in times of despair,
we always blindly turn to hope..
but can hoping change anything?
now don't mean to spoil your wonderous
mood and all.. but,
think about this, when you are hoping,
what do you hope for? things to get better?
or for things not to get worse?
didn't you already realise that
things cant get worse?
or didn't u realise that nothing comes
better than they are supposed to be?
haha.. now u can choose to trust in hope..
but a fool will only believe in himself
and trust other fools that believes in him.
15 July 2007
Must be humanity's most complicated question.
In difficult labour,
only the baby or the mom can be saved,
which would you choose?
for girls, put yourself in the mom's shoes 1st,
you would rather sacrifice yourself,
naturally..
but if you'd think again,
as a child, if you caused your mom's death,
albeit indirectly,
you would still feel lyk crap..
as guys, we do not experience the same feelings,
we'd 1st think of the wife's desire to save the kid,
but if we'd pick the kid, the wife in her deathbed,
might be wondering,
"so my husband chose someone he has never seen,
over me."
or perhaps, we'd blame the kid.
then when we don't keep the kid,
we'd think about how we ceased an innocent life,
a life so pure, yet we chose our wives.
now think about this, i want some reply...
only the baby or the mom can be saved,
which would you choose?
for girls, put yourself in the mom's shoes 1st,
you would rather sacrifice yourself,
naturally..
but if you'd think again,
as a child, if you caused your mom's death,
albeit indirectly,
you would still feel lyk crap..
as guys, we do not experience the same feelings,
we'd 1st think of the wife's desire to save the kid,
but if we'd pick the kid, the wife in her deathbed,
might be wondering,
"so my husband chose someone he has never seen,
over me."
or perhaps, we'd blame the kid.
then when we don't keep the kid,
we'd think about how we ceased an innocent life,
a life so pure, yet we chose our wives.
now think about this, i want some reply...
12 July 2007
Marriage's The Theme.
i implore upon students whom may have the knowledge of Literature,
to practice their skills of critical analysis, by playing critic on this peom,
the theme is marriage. And of course, those who take interest,
might play critic too.
to practice their skills of critical analysis, by playing critic on this peom,
the theme is marriage. And of course, those who take interest,
might play critic too.
you were born together,
and together you shall be forevermore.
Aye, you shall be together,
even in the silent memory of god.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
and let the winds of heaven dance between you.
Love one another but not make a bond of love:
let it rather be
a moving sea between the shores of your soul;
Fill each other's cup
but drink not from one cup;
give another your bread
but eat not from the same loaf.
-Khalil Gibran, The Prophet
9 July 2007
Question in kids' minds, in my mind..
We are all our parents kids,
some of us, have multiple people,
who are held in our hearts like parents,
and in theirs, you are their child.
but when that happens,
it might seem to be a blessing,
til you find yourself
in a compromising situation.
when you get into problems,
the automatically assume the worst,
on your part.
why? why, you ask..
cause they hold themselves in high esteem,
they have committed a sin,
a sin of vainity.. for they think,
that since they bore you,
you'd never change,
you'd continually be that one same person,
you'd never be wise enough for the world,
never be street smart enough,
their judgement will always be better.
now, i happened to step into this conflict,
with an adult, the manager of an mrt station
(shall not say where)
on one account, it was entirely his mistake,
on the 2nd account,
i was drinking in the mrt station,
true.. but when i unconciously said something,
in my defence, he straight away determined,
that i was challenging authority,
that i had to learn a lesson for that..
so remembering the same man from before,
i thought that he was trying to pick on me.
i did tell my mom, that he MIGHT be picking on me,
i said i didn't know, it wasn't a 100%.
i told her i was only 20% sure,
she assumed i was being picked on immediatly,
she told my god parents, my uncle, aunts,
basically, the world.. that i was wrongfully dealt with,
by an adult.. they all were infurated.
so, they brought me, to question the fella,
he immediatly said i was drinking,
and i still challenged authority,
and just cause he said he wasn't trying to teach me,
my godfather said that he was respecting them,
and had to be respected..
it was only his OWN perception.
and now, in my goddad's perception,
i'm wrong, i was rude,
so i defied authority,
i, a hot-blooded New Age Teen,
would ONLY naturally, do such an act.
so i couldn't care less,
i brought up the first case,
the manager, straight away dismissed it,
saying "we have to put that aside."
so, in my goddad's head,
he was apologising, WHAT IS THIS?
just cause he said "put it aside"
he is no longer wrong?
now, EVERYONE in my family,
says i wronged him, i was in the fault,
i challenged him 1st,
i, framed him saying he was INDEED picking on me.
i have to remphasise, i DIDN'T say he was,
i said he MIGHT be.
yeah, adults, just cause they might have lived longer,
always assume things and are automatically right,
they are never wrong, we are,
i gave up arguing, cause it's pointless.
useless to try and convince people,
who are already full of themselves,
they'd never have enough space for children to speak,
children are always wrong..
or is it because, they think we'd never grow up??
some of us, have multiple people,
who are held in our hearts like parents,
and in theirs, you are their child.
but when that happens,
it might seem to be a blessing,
til you find yourself
in a compromising situation.
when you get into problems,
the automatically assume the worst,
on your part.
why? why, you ask..
cause they hold themselves in high esteem,
they have committed a sin,
a sin of vainity.. for they think,
that since they bore you,
you'd never change,
you'd continually be that one same person,
you'd never be wise enough for the world,
never be street smart enough,
their judgement will always be better.
now, i happened to step into this conflict,
with an adult, the manager of an mrt station
(shall not say where)
on one account, it was entirely his mistake,
on the 2nd account,
i was drinking in the mrt station,
true.. but when i unconciously said something,
in my defence, he straight away determined,
that i was challenging authority,
that i had to learn a lesson for that..
so remembering the same man from before,
i thought that he was trying to pick on me.
i did tell my mom, that he MIGHT be picking on me,
i said i didn't know, it wasn't a 100%.
i told her i was only 20% sure,
she assumed i was being picked on immediatly,
she told my god parents, my uncle, aunts,
basically, the world.. that i was wrongfully dealt with,
by an adult.. they all were infurated.
so, they brought me, to question the fella,
he immediatly said i was drinking,
and i still challenged authority,
and just cause he said he wasn't trying to teach me,
my godfather said that he was respecting them,
and had to be respected..
it was only his OWN perception.
and now, in my goddad's perception,
i'm wrong, i was rude,
so i defied authority,
i, a hot-blooded New Age Teen,
would ONLY naturally, do such an act.
so i couldn't care less,
i brought up the first case,
the manager, straight away dismissed it,
saying "we have to put that aside."
so, in my goddad's head,
he was apologising, WHAT IS THIS?
just cause he said "put it aside"
he is no longer wrong?
now, EVERYONE in my family,
says i wronged him, i was in the fault,
i challenged him 1st,
i, framed him saying he was INDEED picking on me.
i have to remphasise, i DIDN'T say he was,
i said he MIGHT be.
yeah, adults, just cause they might have lived longer,
always assume things and are automatically right,
they are never wrong, we are,
i gave up arguing, cause it's pointless.
useless to try and convince people,
who are already full of themselves,
they'd never have enough space for children to speak,
children are always wrong..
or is it because, they think we'd never grow up??
5 July 2007
Realisation
questioning my reasons for doubting,
i have come to a conclusion,
a conclusion i'm sure many are aware of,
but jus don't really know how to bring out..
neither do i,
til i chanced upon an article written by a respected writer..
with doubts, i see many reasonable points and angles
to a certain matter,
i will then proceed to make decisions on that matter,
which will then make me act,
but my action must be carried with enthusiasm
and the initial doubt brings that enthusiasm,
this decision made, must relate to my dreams
and must act according to my will,
for personal reasons and my dreams must and will be fulfiled by me,
then, w/o life, how am i capable of achieving everything?
i've realised the true importance of living
to live, we are given chances to fulfil our desires,
to keep the cycle going and improving
the lives of future generations to go...
P.S. sorry for making you read this,
i don't really know why i'm typing this out either..
but, i have already been wondering for some time,
what do i have to write about.. i guess,
this is the best i can do.. =D
i have come to a conclusion,
a conclusion i'm sure many are aware of,
but jus don't really know how to bring out..
neither do i,
til i chanced upon an article written by a respected writer..
with doubts, i see many reasonable points and angles
to a certain matter,
i will then proceed to make decisions on that matter,
which will then make me act,
but my action must be carried with enthusiasm
and the initial doubt brings that enthusiasm,
this decision made, must relate to my dreams
and must act according to my will,
for personal reasons and my dreams must and will be fulfiled by me,
then, w/o life, how am i capable of achieving everything?
i've realised the true importance of living
to live, we are given chances to fulfil our desires,
to keep the cycle going and improving
the lives of future generations to go...
P.S. sorry for making you read this,
i don't really know why i'm typing this out either..
but, i have already been wondering for some time,
what do i have to write about.. i guess,
this is the best i can do.. =D
22 June 2007
LALALA~
I'm reli bored.. Took it from Pru.. Just like Debbie.. LOL.. once in awhile i have to be dumb.. Charlene told me to be
How well have you travelled?
East-West
[X] Changi Airport - To fly, eat, duty free shop... many more
[X] Expo - watch some disney on ice thing, book fair..
[X] Pasir Ris - chalet, eat, shop.
[X] Tampines - shop, eat, meet friends.
[X] Simei - God bro's sch..
[X] Tanah Merah - Tanah Merah interchange.
[X] Bedok - Some training place
[ ] Kembangan -
[X] Eunos - walkwalk
[X] Paya Lebar - Mom's friend house
[X] Aljunied - Forgot redi.
[X] Kallang - National Stadium
[X] Lavender - Immigration, beach road.
[X] Bugis - shop, eat steamboat, bras basah, simlim sq, funan..
[X] Raffles Place - Work, walkwalk..
[ ] Tanjong Pagar -
[X] Outram Park - HSA.. pay fine.. =.=
[X] Tiong Bahru - Friend's place..
[X] Redhill - Uh oh~ uhm... activities..
[X] Queenstown - shopping complex, car showrooms.
[X] Commonwealth - someone's granny's place
[X] Buona Vista - NUS..
[X] Dover - Friend's school
[X] Clementi - Dad's friend..
[X] Jurong East - East coast.. Fishing & BBQ..
[X] Chinese Garden - Lantern Festival.. ROFL
[ ] Lakeside -
[X] Boon Lay - something.
North-South
[X] Bukit Batok - Working friend's house.. Friend's sch
[ ] Bukit Gombak -
[ ] Bukit Gombak -
[X] Choa Chu Kang - Take bus to meet uncle.
[X] Yew Tee - Go settle problem
[ ] Kranji -
[X] Marsiling - Bus to uncle's place
[X] Woodlands - Walk to uncle's place
[X] Admiralty - Bus to uncle's place
[X] Sembawang - Send friend home, Sun plaza.
[X] Yishun - school , NorthPoint, whack ppl(he cheat my money).
[X] Khatib - School
[X] Yio Chu Kang - Granny's place
[X] Ang Mo Kio - Childhood house, Teck Ghee CC
[X] Bishan - My house, J8, Alot of friend's house.
[X] Braddell - Old school! Braddel Mac.
[X] Toa Payoh - library, 600 @ TPY, Entertainment center
[X] Novena - Novena sq, United sq, the new shopping center.
[X] Newton - EAT~!
[X] Orchard - =.=
[X] Somerset - =.=
[X] Dhoby Ghaut - =.=
[X] Marina Bay - Steamboat! Fireworks! walkwalk.
North-East
[X] Harbourfront - Sentosa & Vivocity, another fren's place
[x] Chinatown - Tat shop, mooncake, some heritage race.
[X] Clarke Quay - pubbing, walk walk
[X] Little India - lots of temples
[X] Farrer Park - Fiona.. =.=
[ ] Boon Keng -
[X] Potong Pasir - bball..
[X] Serangoon - Pri sch! Cousin's house.
[X] Kovan - Meet John, Drink soyabean, heartland mall
[X] Hougang - Father's shop, lived ther til 3 yrs old
[X] Buangkok - walk.
[X] Sengkang - Compass pt.
[X] Punggol - play bball, used to have lessons there.
21 June 2007
True Friends or Make Believe?
In times of trouble or dismay,
remember the people at your side?
if this seems like the norm,
the usual friend story,
then you might not read on.
but i assure you,
this is something different.
Half of those people by your side,
they are your worst fear,
they are the people who are fake,
the ones who win your trust,
so that they can personally gain from you.
these people are the kind of people
that are the hardest to sniff out.
they will carefully stab your back
in such a way that you can barely know.
by the time you do,
it's already too late.
these sort of losers,
they will always be around,
just when you are influential and rich,
they drift here and there
and stick to their targets,
they will be like your best of friend,
till your usefulness is sucked dry.
then again,
there are people who seem to have disappeared,
but they are still your friends,
these people are harder to find,
they prefer helping in the dark,
cause they do not want credit.
i love those people.
hardly do you find them,
when they help you, they do not accept thanks,
they do not want to be noticed,
these my friends, are the true friends,
they disappear cause they know
that you'd prefer being left alone.
if we all continue thinking that this world,
is so easily read,
we will never find our true friends
we will always miss out the people
who can really be loyal to us.
open your eyes and look around you,
who's real and who's fake.
remember the people at your side?
if this seems like the norm,
the usual friend story,
then you might not read on.
but i assure you,
this is something different.
Half of those people by your side,
they are your worst fear,
they are the people who are fake,
the ones who win your trust,
so that they can personally gain from you.
these people are the kind of people
that are the hardest to sniff out.
they will carefully stab your back
in such a way that you can barely know.
by the time you do,
it's already too late.
these sort of losers,
they will always be around,
just when you are influential and rich,
they drift here and there
and stick to their targets,
they will be like your best of friend,
till your usefulness is sucked dry.
then again,
there are people who seem to have disappeared,
but they are still your friends,
these people are harder to find,
they prefer helping in the dark,
cause they do not want credit.
i love those people.
hardly do you find them,
when they help you, they do not accept thanks,
they do not want to be noticed,
these my friends, are the true friends,
they disappear cause they know
that you'd prefer being left alone.
if we all continue thinking that this world,
is so easily read,
we will never find our true friends
we will always miss out the people
who can really be loyal to us.
open your eyes and look around you,
who's real and who's fake.
18 June 2007
For them or For us?
remember how people used to preach about good deeds?
remember when we did good dids cause we felt like it?
what are we learning nowadays?
schools, telling us CIP is for our leaving cert,
religious groups,
telling us that it is to purify our tainted lives,
to let us lead better and more fulfiled lives,
claiming that the moment you start with them,
you are going to feel the positive change in your life,
so now, we are doing these good deeds,
just so we can gain from them?
just so we will earn some merit to liberate ourselves
or probably have nicer leaving certs to give us a better chance?
yeah, the novelty is worn out..
i have so damned decided not to join these groups
in their "purification" of their karma
or lifting of their spirits,
cause i so believe good deeds will not
NEVER be done so we gain merit.
i believe that it is our heart,
that wants to give, not because there will be someone,
telling me that my life will get better the more i serve.
i just don't believe in that.
P.S just like the word sorry,
good deeds have lost their novelty.
i don't do stuff like that...
remember when we did good dids cause we felt like it?
what are we learning nowadays?
schools, telling us CIP is for our leaving cert,
religious groups,
telling us that it is to purify our tainted lives,
to let us lead better and more fulfiled lives,
claiming that the moment you start with them,
you are going to feel the positive change in your life,
so now, we are doing these good deeds,
just so we can gain from them?
just so we will earn some merit to liberate ourselves
or probably have nicer leaving certs to give us a better chance?
yeah, the novelty is worn out..
i have so damned decided not to join these groups
in their "purification" of their karma
or lifting of their spirits,
cause i so believe good deeds will not
NEVER be done so we gain merit.
i believe that it is our heart,
that wants to give, not because there will be someone,
telling me that my life will get better the more i serve.
i just don't believe in that.
P.S just like the word sorry,
good deeds have lost their novelty.
i don't do stuff like that...
31 May 2007
Wrong? wrong! are you sure?
The piece of bread that fell wrong side up
We all have a tendency to believe that everything we do will turn out wrong, because we think we do not deserve to be blessed. Here is an interesting story about precisely that feeling.
A man was quietly eating his breakfast. Suddenly, the piece of bread which he had just spread with butter fell to the ground.
Imagine his surprise when he looked down and saw that it had landed buttered side up! The man thought he had witnessed a miracle. Excited, he went to tell his friends what had happened, and they were all amazed because when a piece of bread falls on the floor, it always lands buttered side down, making a mess of everything.
‘Perhaps you’re a saint,’ one friend said. ‘And this is a sign from God.’
Soon the whole village knew, and they all started animatedly discussing the incident: how was it that, against all expectations, that man’s slice of bread had fallen on the floor buttered side up? Since no one could come up with a credible answer, they went to see a Teacher who lived nearby and told him the story.
The Teacher demanded one night to pray, reflect and ask for Divine inspiration. The following day, they all returned, eager for an answer.
‘It’s quite simple really,’ said the Teacher. ‘The fact is that the piece of bread fell exactly as it should have fallen, but the butter had been spread on the wrong side.’
-Paulo Coelho
tell me anybody who isn't guilty of the same kind of thoughts?
that there is a "must" to everything?
we always believe that things MUST go wrong, very wrong.
even the teacher thinks the same way,
he thinks that just because the butter didn't make a mess,
there must be something wrong, a catch to it,
in the end, he thought he had come up with a perfect solution,
that the man had made a mistake.
(like yeah? there's a right side to spread butter?)
this story make us all seem a wee bit stupid don't you think?
like we are all ignorant yound kids, who don't know shit.
but get a load of that, it's just an example.
we do have thoughts like that, it's just that it happens unconciously.
when things go wrong, we always expect it to be extremely bad,
like we are cursed.
we think we're so jinxed that if it's only a minor setback,
we think that a miracle has happened
or maybe there's something we terrible haven't noticed.
this teaches us, to learn to accept everything,
good or bad, and not only be comfortable
with negetive "must"s that have haunted us throughout our lives
We all have a tendency to believe that everything we do will turn out wrong, because we think we do not deserve to be blessed. Here is an interesting story about precisely that feeling.
A man was quietly eating his breakfast. Suddenly, the piece of bread which he had just spread with butter fell to the ground.
Imagine his surprise when he looked down and saw that it had landed buttered side up! The man thought he had witnessed a miracle. Excited, he went to tell his friends what had happened, and they were all amazed because when a piece of bread falls on the floor, it always lands buttered side down, making a mess of everything.
‘Perhaps you’re a saint,’ one friend said. ‘And this is a sign from God.’
Soon the whole village knew, and they all started animatedly discussing the incident: how was it that, against all expectations, that man’s slice of bread had fallen on the floor buttered side up? Since no one could come up with a credible answer, they went to see a Teacher who lived nearby and told him the story.
The Teacher demanded one night to pray, reflect and ask for Divine inspiration. The following day, they all returned, eager for an answer.
‘It’s quite simple really,’ said the Teacher. ‘The fact is that the piece of bread fell exactly as it should have fallen, but the butter had been spread on the wrong side.’
-Paulo Coelho
tell me anybody who isn't guilty of the same kind of thoughts?
that there is a "must" to everything?
we always believe that things MUST go wrong, very wrong.
even the teacher thinks the same way,
he thinks that just because the butter didn't make a mess,
there must be something wrong, a catch to it,
in the end, he thought he had come up with a perfect solution,
that the man had made a mistake.
(like yeah? there's a right side to spread butter?)
this story make us all seem a wee bit stupid don't you think?
like we are all ignorant yound kids, who don't know shit.
but get a load of that, it's just an example.
we do have thoughts like that, it's just that it happens unconciously.
when things go wrong, we always expect it to be extremely bad,
like we are cursed.
we think we're so jinxed that if it's only a minor setback,
we think that a miracle has happened
or maybe there's something we terrible haven't noticed.
this teaches us, to learn to accept everything,
good or bad, and not only be comfortable
with negetive "must"s that have haunted us throughout our lives
28 May 2007
Equal rights?
i know i'm gonna start a war now,
but please, feel free to comment,
guys or girls alike.
BUT,
let's see, we all know that's what girls ask for,
how many girls have you heard
flinging word "chauvinist" at you?
or how many girls have you heard,
claiming there should be "equality"?
they only see the bad side of everything,
thinking they are underestimated,
thinking they are repressed and undermined by society,
claiming they are of the "new age",
the 21st century,
they too, should get equal rights.
but they do not see that equal rights,
can mean many things,
i shall list them down.
- they must stop expecting guys to give in.
- they must now foot their own bills.
- crying no longer helps.
- whining doesn't either.
- carry their own shopping bags.
- pay for the usage of household utilities.
- share same toilets.
- do NS (in some countries)
- stop hitting guys or expect to get the blow back.
- don't expect guys to help open doors
- don't expect guys to go whereever they wanna go.
and many more, i'm just too lazy to continue
as you can see, you know all these actions that guys do,
they don't notice the importance,
they are - by nature - physically less inclined than men,
so they lose out in many ways,
even in the bible, it is stated that wives must submit,
when guys are "chauvinistic", bask in the love man,
why complain? they don't allow you to work,
let you stay at home, with the exception of caring for the child,
the fruit of your love, and free-load off their hard work,
why not?
guys open the doors for you,
when you whine, we go wherever you please,
do whatever you want,
not because we look down on you,
but because we respect the fact that you're women,
when we pay for your bills,
burn holes in our pockets,
you don't see it,
you think you are a strong and capable individual,
ladies, where do you get your diamonds?
for some, i must say,
you have your own money.
but for most of them,
where do you get your shoes,
your house, your bags, your cars, etcetera?
bask in the love girls, guys aren't being chauvinistic,
even if we were, you get all the attention,
live with it, enjoy it, quit complaining.
but please, feel free to comment,
guys or girls alike.
BUT,
let's see, we all know that's what girls ask for,
how many girls have you heard
flinging word "chauvinist" at you?
or how many girls have you heard,
claiming there should be "equality"?
they only see the bad side of everything,
thinking they are underestimated,
thinking they are repressed and undermined by society,
claiming they are of the "new age",
the 21st century,
they too, should get equal rights.
but they do not see that equal rights,
can mean many things,
i shall list them down.
- they must stop expecting guys to give in.
- they must now foot their own bills.
- crying no longer helps.
- whining doesn't either.
- carry their own shopping bags.
- pay for the usage of household utilities.
- share same toilets.
- do NS (in some countries)
- stop hitting guys or expect to get the blow back.
- don't expect guys to help open doors
- don't expect guys to go whereever they wanna go.
and many more, i'm just too lazy to continue
as you can see, you know all these actions that guys do,
they don't notice the importance,
they are - by nature - physically less inclined than men,
so they lose out in many ways,
even in the bible, it is stated that wives must submit,
when guys are "chauvinistic", bask in the love man,
why complain? they don't allow you to work,
let you stay at home, with the exception of caring for the child,
the fruit of your love, and free-load off their hard work,
why not?
guys open the doors for you,
when you whine, we go wherever you please,
do whatever you want,
not because we look down on you,
but because we respect the fact that you're women,
when we pay for your bills,
burn holes in our pockets,
you don't see it,
you think you are a strong and capable individual,
ladies, where do you get your diamonds?
for some, i must say,
you have your own money.
but for most of them,
where do you get your shoes,
your house, your bags, your cars, etcetera?
bask in the love girls, guys aren't being chauvinistic,
even if we were, you get all the attention,
live with it, enjoy it, quit complaining.
22 May 2007
Music.
my, yours and everyone else's escape.
we all need some time away from reality.
music, provides the best form of escape.
a proof of this is the way people react differently with music.
when you're in a train/bus or anywhere with lots of people,
and you just stare at them,
some people will get pissed off,
but when they see you with your headphones,
they will think you're otherwise engaged
and they calm down and get back to their own business.
when you're at pubs,
with that slow, soothing music,
you seem to be able to talk to your friends so much better,
your heart seems to be all so ready to bare itself,
you feel so secure,
you know you are saying too much
but you don't really care, you trust them.
music, the sweet escape.
it's really scary, how people can stay silent,
stay silently listening to music.
so much that they never socialise,
we are currently facing a new generation of musical fanatics,
they will so galdly listen to their mp3 and ignore the world.
people will start to become stranger to each other
whilst they drown in their music blasting from the headphones.
communication skills will go down the drain,
an impending spell to zombify everyone.
a warning my friends,
don't run away from reality with music,
live healthily, talk to people,
don't immerse yourself in music!
we all need some time away from reality.
music, provides the best form of escape.
a proof of this is the way people react differently with music.
when you're in a train/bus or anywhere with lots of people,
and you just stare at them,
some people will get pissed off,
but when they see you with your headphones,
they will think you're otherwise engaged
and they calm down and get back to their own business.
when you're at pubs,
with that slow, soothing music,
you seem to be able to talk to your friends so much better,
your heart seems to be all so ready to bare itself,
you feel so secure,
you know you are saying too much
but you don't really care, you trust them.
music, the sweet escape.
it's really scary, how people can stay silent,
stay silently listening to music.
so much that they never socialise,
we are currently facing a new generation of musical fanatics,
they will so galdly listen to their mp3 and ignore the world.
people will start to become stranger to each other
whilst they drown in their music blasting from the headphones.
communication skills will go down the drain,
an impending spell to zombify everyone.
a warning my friends,
don't run away from reality with music,
live healthily, talk to people,
don't immerse yourself in music!
19 May 2007
Desire or need?
there's an old saying,
"an old monkey never puts his hand in the hole".
the logic behind is that in India,
hunters used to cut tiny holes in coconuts,
placed a banana in them
and proceeds to bury the whole thing.
a monkey will then come up,
puts his hand in to grab the banana
only to find that it has been trapped
as his clenched fist was too huge to remove from the hole.
now, he could have released his grip,
but he feels that there is a need for that banana,
and stubbornly chooses to hang on
and fight a battle he can never win,
struggling to pluck his hand with the banana out.
this applies to humans too,
we often feel that there is a need for something,
so much so that we become imprisoned in some way.
the luring entrapment of this impending "need"
has always imprisoned inexperienced people,
with them thinking that they can satisfy the "need".
now, don't you agree that the monkey
could have let go and found another source of food?
yet it stubbornly thinks it needs this one.
just like us,
the monkey and humans,
we haven't learnt to differentiate
between needs and wants.
wants are desires,
we will always convince ourselves that we need it,
so we fight so hard for it,
we never see that we have trapped ourselves
either in debt or in the quest,
to satisfy a desire,
IF A DESIRE COULD BE SATISFIED,
IT WILL CEASE TO BE A DESIRE.
we will never achieve what we want,
if we don't learn to let go.
"an old monkey never puts his hand in the hole".
the logic behind is that in India,
hunters used to cut tiny holes in coconuts,
placed a banana in them
and proceeds to bury the whole thing.
a monkey will then come up,
puts his hand in to grab the banana
only to find that it has been trapped
as his clenched fist was too huge to remove from the hole.
now, he could have released his grip,
but he feels that there is a need for that banana,
and stubbornly chooses to hang on
and fight a battle he can never win,
struggling to pluck his hand with the banana out.
this applies to humans too,
we often feel that there is a need for something,
so much so that we become imprisoned in some way.
the luring entrapment of this impending "need"
has always imprisoned inexperienced people,
with them thinking that they can satisfy the "need".
now, don't you agree that the monkey
could have let go and found another source of food?
yet it stubbornly thinks it needs this one.
just like us,
the monkey and humans,
we haven't learnt to differentiate
between needs and wants.
wants are desires,
we will always convince ourselves that we need it,
so we fight so hard for it,
we never see that we have trapped ourselves
either in debt or in the quest,
to satisfy a desire,
IF A DESIRE COULD BE SATISFIED,
IT WILL CEASE TO BE A DESIRE.
we will never achieve what we want,
if we don't learn to let go.
15 May 2007
Time to Live and Time to Waste.
Is it only me? or do you all think we're moving too fast?
cause look at us, constantly rushing ourselves.
year, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds.
that's how we measure our time.
everyday, we seem to think that 24hours do not suffice.
we slog our guts out be it work or school,
only to go home and continue slogging.
we think our time is all about work.
what about our lives?
does it mean that being in one of the fastest cities,
the citizens cannot rest too?
to me,
we got 24hours in a day,
and infinite moments to go along,
and anything can happen in a moment.
but because of how the world's changing now,
we start to measure time,
and by the hours, minutes and seconds.
people fail to notice that in this way,
there is never enough.
time cannot be measured this way.
when we are happy, time passes fast
as the moments come quickly.
when we are low, it goes slow
as the moments drag itself.
we cannot hang on to every minute every second.
but the moments, forever stays in us.
we don't treasure the hour,
but we treasure all the moments we had.
let's not waste out moments away..
cause look at us, constantly rushing ourselves.
year, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds.
that's how we measure our time.
everyday, we seem to think that 24hours do not suffice.
we slog our guts out be it work or school,
only to go home and continue slogging.
we think our time is all about work.
what about our lives?
does it mean that being in one of the fastest cities,
the citizens cannot rest too?
to me,
we got 24hours in a day,
and infinite moments to go along,
and anything can happen in a moment.
but because of how the world's changing now,
we start to measure time,
and by the hours, minutes and seconds.
people fail to notice that in this way,
there is never enough.
time cannot be measured this way.
when we are happy, time passes fast
as the moments come quickly.
when we are low, it goes slow
as the moments drag itself.
we cannot hang on to every minute every second.
but the moments, forever stays in us.
we don't treasure the hour,
but we treasure all the moments we had.
let's not waste out moments away..
14 May 2007
Expression
why do we all submit to the negetivities of the world?
why can't we see things on a nicer plane?
Man, we are all like volcanos,
hot steaming lava without a cover,
when we build up too much pressure,
we naturally overflow and let everything out.
when all of these is gone,
a new scenery is created,
we allow new life to form.
but -sadly- most people try to cover it up,
they spend so much of their energy trying so hard,
so hard just to cover a natural occurance.
they have to spend so much of their vigor
that they do not have any left for creativity,
their lives become mundane.
then we all complain about how negetive life is.
but we fail to realise,
we fail to see that if we allow this volcano to erupt,
when all the smoke clears, a new scenery is formed,
new life will grow around us,
we will experience and absorb new energies around us.
when will we ever learn?
when will we learn that true freedom is letting go?
when we let out all that is in us we're actually
detroying all the negetive energies around us
and letting new and -possibly- positive energies grow.
why can't we see things on a nicer plane?
Man, we are all like volcanos,
hot steaming lava without a cover,
when we build up too much pressure,
we naturally overflow and let everything out.
when all of these is gone,
a new scenery is created,
we allow new life to form.
but -sadly- most people try to cover it up,
they spend so much of their energy trying so hard,
so hard just to cover a natural occurance.
they have to spend so much of their vigor
that they do not have any left for creativity,
their lives become mundane.
then we all complain about how negetive life is.
but we fail to realise,
we fail to see that if we allow this volcano to erupt,
when all the smoke clears, a new scenery is formed,
new life will grow around us,
we will experience and absorb new energies around us.
when will we ever learn?
when will we learn that true freedom is letting go?
when we let out all that is in us we're actually
detroying all the negetive energies around us
and letting new and -possibly- positive energies grow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
