The meaning is clear.

read between the lines

well past these few days things havent been
absolutely the best for you.
i am a loser
things were never the best.
i've never been great at anything
have you learnt that you would never get
what you wanted?
my life is absolutely not wonderous
somethings are more or less against you
but you can only count on you
my soul is dreanched in despair
nobody is going to help you pick your crap
up. absolutely nobody
i am not pessimistic but rather a realist
i know life hurts more than you want it to
i know you are hiding from it
i know the extent of my failure in life
i know you wish you had never met them
cause now to you, your life is in a mess
why are you avoiding me?
what more do you think can happen
there is no absolute solution
why are you not replying me?
death is not the opposite of life but more
the end of life. there is no opposite
why are you running?
how are you gonna prove that you're not
the guy they think you are?
running and disappearing
there is no way. but if you keep taking a
passive stand, no one's going to be by you
when im the one which no one loves
just like what's happening now. your
friends, they are one by one disappearing
you all care yah. but you dont love
you are now cycling on a completely untouched
road.. and people are more and more afraid to
follow
you guys leave me to my own devices
yes, you are leaving your life, you emotions
are a rage, you cant control yourself anymore
you guys dont feel my pain
you are on the verge of explotion, and no one
seems to notice right?
im somebody who doesnt feel?
is there no way you can salvage the situation?
im someone who is blind?
are you agreeable to the way you are treating
yourself?
please note, im more than you think
you dont want to blame anyone. so you take
all the freaking blame by making your life
worse.
im not angry
are you trying to be bloody smart?
rather, im lost
you trip on everyone and you piss them off
im losing my senses
dont you want anyone to stand with you?
dont you want company?
im struggling to get out
is it really that hard to trust yourself when
no one wants to trust you?
i want to see the light again
since it has gotten to this point, only you know
what's best and you have to take care
i need to go back to where i started
dont allow yourself to waver. why are you
still so shaking mad?