The meaning is clear.

read between the lines

well past these few days things havent been
absolutely the best for you.
i am a loser
things were never the best.
i've never been great at anything
have you learnt that you would never get
what you wanted?
my life is absolutely not wonderous
somethings are more or less against you
but you can only count on you
my soul is dreanched in despair
nobody is going to help you pick your crap
up. absolutely nobody
i am not pessimistic but rather a realist
i know life hurts more than you want it to
i know you are hiding from it
i know the extent of my failure in life
i know you wish you had never met them
cause now to you, your life is in a mess
why are you avoiding me?
what more do you think can happen
there is no absolute solution
why are you not replying me?
death is not the opposite of life but more
the end of life. there is no opposite
why are you running?
how are you gonna prove that you're not
the guy they think you are?
running and disappearing
there is no way. but if you keep taking a
passive stand, no one's going to be by you
when im the one which no one loves
just like what's happening now. your
friends, they are one by one disappearing
you all care yah. but you dont love
you are now cycling on a completely untouched
road.. and people are more and more afraid to
follow
you guys leave me to my own devices
yes, you are leaving your life, you emotions
are a rage, you cant control yourself anymore
you guys dont feel my pain
you are on the verge of explotion, and no one
seems to notice right?
im somebody who doesnt feel?
is there no way you can salvage the situation?
im someone who is blind?
are you agreeable to the way you are treating
yourself?
please note, im more than you think
you dont want to blame anyone. so you take
all the freaking blame by making your life
worse.
im not angry
are you trying to be bloody smart?
rather, im lost
you trip on everyone and you piss them off
im losing my senses
dont you want anyone to stand with you?
dont you want company?
im struggling to get out
is it really that hard to trust yourself when
no one wants to trust you?
i want to see the light again
since it has gotten to this point, only you know
what's best and you have to take care
i need to go back to where i started
dont allow yourself to waver. why are you
still so shaking mad?

Life

starting off with something off the topic:

if a person wants you,
nothing can keep he/her from you

if a person doesnt want to stay,
nothing can make him/her stay

stop making excuses for him/her
and their behavior

heart breaks last as long
and cut as deep as you allow them to

the challenge,
is not to survive heart breaks,
but to learn from them

when it rains, look for the rainbow.

Back to the topic at hand:

i cant tell you what's the purpose of life,
but i can tell you what's the general way
that people choose to live life in,
your purpose, can be determined that way.

you know about the same old way of saying,
'make your life worth living?'
OR
'you only got one lifetime, live it to the fullest'
but nobody ever tells you how huh?

so some people decided,
they wanna live happily,
some just chose to find the truth of existance,
the truth of life.
and there are those, the majority of them,
the reason why the world is a lousy place.

the happy people, the way they live is very
special, they live without a past, without
a future, they find no meaning, they need
no reasons, no explainations.
they can find some cheer in everything,
grinning with unrestrained mirth,
as though life had never presented them
with a setback, as if life, is all giving
and the world is this unbelivably
beautiful and wonderous place.
their purpose in life is to cheer others up,
their purpose in life is to find happiness
in things that are but only illusions
that are in their hearts.

life dangles, happiness on her left hand,
and meaning on her right,
left-the hand of creativity
right-the hand of job and hardwork
those that choose to live just cause they
are breathing, decide to steal a little
from both hands.

life insists, that meaning and happiness
are two separate roads, once you have
chosen the path of meaning, you can
never turn back. the road of happiness
however, has many one way doors,
you can always choose to leave the road
of happiness and go to the path of
meaning or the path of those who live
just because they're born into the world.

when you take the path of meaning,
you have to be able to carry the past,
no matter how dark and look at the future
no matter how bleak. your present,
is just a transition state. you might
become lodged at a point and no matter
what, if you cannot find an explaination,
you will not let the matter rest, you're
usually insecure, appearing strong and
arrogant on the outside, you will cease to
be the real you. your personality is almost
so unpredictable since you care confused
even by yourself.
your purpose in life, is to guide or
to find the reason of your own existance.
and to hide your true face from the world

and for those who live just to live,
you're never wrong in your eyes,
you criticise and complain, you never
give others a way out, everything they
do or say that you are unfamiliar with,
are treated as lies and exaggeration
to you. you dont bother to look for
explainations in things that are not
easily understandable, you try to
find happiness but all you see is just
abit of humour. you are the kind of
person who has a personality that you
and others like yourself consider unique
but see each other as friends who are
arrogant but agree with each other
when you are criticising others.
you are conditioned to the 'dog eat
dog' situation, you're double edged.
your sole purpose in living is to live
like you'd never die and to die like
you've never lived.

i know this post is going to create
alot of controversy, alot of disagreement
but this is my writing space man..
let me abuse it. thanks

Trust

Distrust is the confident expectation that another
individual's motives, intentions, and behaviours
are sinister to one's own interest. distrust auto-
matically makes take steps to reduce our
"vulnerability".

Due to it's destructive nature, we must view
this phenomenon with much care and see how
it can be managed efficiently.

oh yes, to deal with something, we must also
know how it functions, distrust, the lack of trust,
whatever you'd like to call it all means, not trusting,
it is often due to stereotypical and judgemental
views which are, more often than not, flawful
views. even when the distrusted party tries
to amend, it is often met by skeptisim and
sometimes, hostility.

in the case of promises, when a party breaks a
promise, the other might probably lose faith
or trust in him. this guy, decides to make amends
but after being rejected, he might decide
to just give up and continue breaking more promises.
in such cases, distrust increases frequency of
violation and causes even more distrust.

there are two sides to distrust,
good side: functional distrust
bad side: dysfunctional distrust

Functional:
there have been cases where we trust people
to be upright in character and not betray us
but we were indeed betrayed, this form
of distrust, helps us to keep our defences up,
to remain vigilant to protect ourselves.

Dysfunctional:
distrusting also has extremes, and these
are nothing to be jumping for joy to. when
distrust is at it's extreme, it leads to paranoia,
an obessesion for the subject to find a reason
to every single action of the distrusted, this
leads to overactive imaginations and a faulty
judgement of character. the subject will most
likely show his distrust and get treated
equally, which will cause a buildup of
animosity and even more distrust.

that's just backgound where it involves two
parties or more..
but what happens when it's someone whom
you know too well? when it's just one party?
all these still apply, it only means that
you are too judgemental on yourself,
you refuse to allow yourself to experience
and do things without an explaination..
correct me if im wrong.. i highly doubt it,
if you are telling me you cannot trust yourself,
ive been through that, and i know what
it exactly feels like. you tell yourself not to
do some things or to do some things but,
you might have broken these promises before
therefore you lose faith in yourself and
when you try to gain faith again, you have no
will to do so, you are worried that you will make
the same mistakes and you refuse to give
yourself a chance.. that's how it usually goes
that's what makes you lose faith in yourself
and as the faith is gone, the trust fades..

most of the time, logic and emotions dont
agree.. but you need to know which to
follow.. i know there are sayings of the
heart being treacherous but, treachery
is a blow that can only come unknowingly.
if you knew your heart well enough,
it can never be treacherous.. and if you
want to get to know it, you have to trust
it. without knowledge, we can survive,
without emotions, we cannot function as
per nomal. why do i say such?
ever heard that
human empathy is one of the strongest
feelings?
9/11, countless people who had gone,
the world was taken aback, the world when
only a fraction of these people are related
to those who were victimised.. that's how
the victims continued to have hope,
with the comfort and condolences from
people they dont know, they feel that
the world has so much more to offer them,
the FEEL but they dont KNOW..
another point.

whatever it is,
when you cant trust, you cant love..
when you cant love yourself, you cant
love others...

love yourself, for the sake of a better
world.. for love, can change a person.
and if everyone of us make an effort
to better ourselves, the world will be
such a better place.

if all of us learnt to trust, and want
to be trusted, there would be no
betrayal.. but as humans, we have a
long way to go.. lets try to shorten
this time.

Dedication

you're a falling star, you're the getaway car.
you're the line in the sand when i go too far
you're the swimming pool, on an August day
and you're the perfect thing to say.

and you can play it coy, but it's kinda cute
ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what to do
baby, don't pretend that you don't know it's true
cause you can see it when i look at you.

[chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through this crazy times
it's you, it's you, you make me sing
you're every line, you're every word, you're everything

you're a carousel, you're a wishing well
and you light me up, when you ring my bell
you're a mystery, you're from outer space
you're every minute of my everyday

and i can't believe, that i'm your man
and i get to kiss you baby just because i can
whatever comes our way, we'll see it through
and you know that's what our love can do

[chorus:]

so, La la la la la la la
So, La la la la la la la

[chorus:]

you're every song, and i sing along
cause you're my everything
yeah, yeah