The meaning is clear.

read between the lines

well past these few days things havent been
absolutely the best for you.
i am a loser
things were never the best.
i've never been great at anything
have you learnt that you would never get
what you wanted?
my life is absolutely not wonderous
somethings are more or less against you
but you can only count on you
my soul is dreanched in despair
nobody is going to help you pick your crap
up. absolutely nobody
i am not pessimistic but rather a realist
i know life hurts more than you want it to
i know you are hiding from it
i know the extent of my failure in life
i know you wish you had never met them
cause now to you, your life is in a mess
why are you avoiding me?
what more do you think can happen
there is no absolute solution
why are you not replying me?
death is not the opposite of life but more
the end of life. there is no opposite
why are you running?
how are you gonna prove that you're not
the guy they think you are?
running and disappearing
there is no way. but if you keep taking a
passive stand, no one's going to be by you
when im the one which no one loves
just like what's happening now. your
friends, they are one by one disappearing
you all care yah. but you dont love
you are now cycling on a completely untouched
road.. and people are more and more afraid to
follow
you guys leave me to my own devices
yes, you are leaving your life, you emotions
are a rage, you cant control yourself anymore
you guys dont feel my pain
you are on the verge of explotion, and no one
seems to notice right?
im somebody who doesnt feel?
is there no way you can salvage the situation?
im someone who is blind?
are you agreeable to the way you are treating
yourself?
please note, im more than you think
you dont want to blame anyone. so you take
all the freaking blame by making your life
worse.
im not angry
are you trying to be bloody smart?
rather, im lost
you trip on everyone and you piss them off
im losing my senses
dont you want anyone to stand with you?
dont you want company?
im struggling to get out
is it really that hard to trust yourself when
no one wants to trust you?
i want to see the light again
since it has gotten to this point, only you know
what's best and you have to take care
i need to go back to where i started
dont allow yourself to waver. why are you
still so shaking mad?

Life

starting off with something off the topic:

if a person wants you,
nothing can keep he/her from you

if a person doesnt want to stay,
nothing can make him/her stay

stop making excuses for him/her
and their behavior

heart breaks last as long
and cut as deep as you allow them to

the challenge,
is not to survive heart breaks,
but to learn from them

when it rains, look for the rainbow.

Back to the topic at hand:

i cant tell you what's the purpose of life,
but i can tell you what's the general way
that people choose to live life in,
your purpose, can be determined that way.

you know about the same old way of saying,
'make your life worth living?'
OR
'you only got one lifetime, live it to the fullest'
but nobody ever tells you how huh?

so some people decided,
they wanna live happily,
some just chose to find the truth of existance,
the truth of life.
and there are those, the majority of them,
the reason why the world is a lousy place.

the happy people, the way they live is very
special, they live without a past, without
a future, they find no meaning, they need
no reasons, no explainations.
they can find some cheer in everything,
grinning with unrestrained mirth,
as though life had never presented them
with a setback, as if life, is all giving
and the world is this unbelivably
beautiful and wonderous place.
their purpose in life is to cheer others up,
their purpose in life is to find happiness
in things that are but only illusions
that are in their hearts.

life dangles, happiness on her left hand,
and meaning on her right,
left-the hand of creativity
right-the hand of job and hardwork
those that choose to live just cause they
are breathing, decide to steal a little
from both hands.

life insists, that meaning and happiness
are two separate roads, once you have
chosen the path of meaning, you can
never turn back. the road of happiness
however, has many one way doors,
you can always choose to leave the road
of happiness and go to the path of
meaning or the path of those who live
just because they're born into the world.

when you take the path of meaning,
you have to be able to carry the past,
no matter how dark and look at the future
no matter how bleak. your present,
is just a transition state. you might
become lodged at a point and no matter
what, if you cannot find an explaination,
you will not let the matter rest, you're
usually insecure, appearing strong and
arrogant on the outside, you will cease to
be the real you. your personality is almost
so unpredictable since you care confused
even by yourself.
your purpose in life, is to guide or
to find the reason of your own existance.
and to hide your true face from the world

and for those who live just to live,
you're never wrong in your eyes,
you criticise and complain, you never
give others a way out, everything they
do or say that you are unfamiliar with,
are treated as lies and exaggeration
to you. you dont bother to look for
explainations in things that are not
easily understandable, you try to
find happiness but all you see is just
abit of humour. you are the kind of
person who has a personality that you
and others like yourself consider unique
but see each other as friends who are
arrogant but agree with each other
when you are criticising others.
you are conditioned to the 'dog eat
dog' situation, you're double edged.
your sole purpose in living is to live
like you'd never die and to die like
you've never lived.

i know this post is going to create
alot of controversy, alot of disagreement
but this is my writing space man..
let me abuse it. thanks