Distrust is the confident expectation that another
individual's motives, intentions, and behaviours
are sinister to one's own interest. distrust auto-
matically makes take steps to reduce our
"vulnerability".
Due to it's destructive nature, we must view
this phenomenon with much care and see how
it can be managed efficiently.
oh yes, to deal with something, we must also
know how it functions, distrust, the lack of trust,
whatever you'd like to call it all means, not trusting,
it is often due to stereotypical and judgemental
views which are, more often than not, flawful
views. even when the distrusted party tries
to amend, it is often met by skeptisim and
sometimes, hostility.
in the case of promises, when a party breaks a
promise, the other might probably lose faith
or trust in him. this guy, decides to make amends
but after being rejected, he might decide
to just give up and continue breaking more promises.
in such cases, distrust increases frequency of
violation and causes even more distrust.
there are two sides to distrust,
good side: functional distrust
bad side: dysfunctional distrust
Functional:
there have been cases where we trust people
to be upright in character and not betray us
but we were indeed betrayed, this form
of distrust, helps us to keep our defences up,
to remain vigilant to protect ourselves.
Dysfunctional:
distrusting also has extremes, and these
are nothing to be jumping for joy to. when
distrust is at it's extreme, it leads to paranoia,
an obessesion for the subject to find a reason
to every single action of the distrusted, this
leads to overactive imaginations and a faulty
judgement of character. the subject will most
likely show his distrust and get treated
equally, which will cause a buildup of
animosity and even more distrust.
that's just backgound where it involves two
parties or more..
but what happens when it's someone whom
you know too well? when it's just one party?
all these still apply, it only means that
you are too judgemental on yourself,
you refuse to allow yourself to experience
and do things without an explaination..
correct me if im wrong.. i highly doubt it,
if you are telling me you cannot trust yourself,
ive been through that, and i know what
it exactly feels like. you tell yourself not to
do some things or to do some things but,
you might have broken these promises before
therefore you lose faith in yourself and
when you try to gain faith again, you have no
will to do so, you are worried that you will make
the same mistakes and you refuse to give
yourself a chance.. that's how it usually goes
that's what makes you lose faith in yourself
and as the faith is gone, the trust fades..
most of the time, logic and emotions dont
agree.. but you need to know which to
follow.. i know there are sayings of the
heart being treacherous but, treachery
is a blow that can only come unknowingly.
if you knew your heart well enough,
it can never be treacherous.. and if you
want to get to know it, you have to trust
it. without knowledge, we can survive,
without emotions, we cannot function as
per nomal. why do i say such?
ever heard that
human empathy is one of the strongest
feelings?
9/11, countless people who had gone,
the world was taken aback, the world when
only a fraction of these people are related
to those who were victimised.. that's how
the victims continued to have hope,
with the comfort and condolences from
people they dont know, they feel that
the world has so much more to offer them,
the FEEL but they dont KNOW..
another point.
whatever it is,
when you cant trust, you cant love..
when you cant love yourself, you cant
love others...
love yourself, for the sake of a better
world.. for love, can change a person.
and if everyone of us make an effort
to better ourselves, the world will be
such a better place.
if all of us learnt to trust, and want
to be trusted, there would be no
betrayal.. but as humans, we have a
long way to go.. lets try to shorten
this time.
25 September 2007
20 September 2007
Dedication
you're a falling star, you're the getaway car.
you're the line in the sand when i go too far
you're the swimming pool, on an August day
and you're the perfect thing to say.
and you can play it coy, but it's kinda cute
ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what to do
baby, don't pretend that you don't know it's true
cause you can see it when i look at you.
[chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through this crazy times
it's you, it's you, you make me sing
you're every line, you're every word, you're everything
you're a carousel, you're a wishing well
and you light me up, when you ring my bell
you're a mystery, you're from outer space
you're every minute of my everyday
and i can't believe, that i'm your man
and i get to kiss you baby just because i can
whatever comes our way, we'll see it through
and you know that's what our love can do
[chorus:]
so, La la la la la la la
So, La la la la la la la
[chorus:]
you're every song, and i sing along
cause you're my everything
yeah, yeah
you're the line in the sand when i go too far
you're the swimming pool, on an August day
and you're the perfect thing to say.
and you can play it coy, but it's kinda cute
ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what to do
baby, don't pretend that you don't know it's true
cause you can see it when i look at you.
[chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through this crazy times
it's you, it's you, you make me sing
you're every line, you're every word, you're everything
you're a carousel, you're a wishing well
and you light me up, when you ring my bell
you're a mystery, you're from outer space
you're every minute of my everyday
and i can't believe, that i'm your man
and i get to kiss you baby just because i can
whatever comes our way, we'll see it through
and you know that's what our love can do
[chorus:]
so, La la la la la la la
So, La la la la la la la
[chorus:]
you're every song, and i sing along
cause you're my everything
yeah, yeah
19 September 2007
Despair
a shell vacant, lost in despair
a heart torn loose that needs repair
mind is gone, no eyes to see
transparent... all but these memories
i dont know how to explain this.
i just like this phrase. seems nice, and it serves
as a reminder to why people cant let go and
still call it love.. it's only cause your memories
are still there, the only thing that reminds you
of another party is memory.. in a few months,
you might have already forgotten his face but,
you still claim to love the ex.
big mistake.
you still love the memories that's all.
when you started to know him and feel the
attraction, it's because of animal nature to
procreate, you then start to form memories
with him, you start to shape bonds,
you realise he doesnt fall short of your expectations,
but, some time later, you have to breakup
because, the romance fell short of yours and
his expectations.. you then try to forget him
but you still kept the memories and you dont realise
that you have already forgotten him.. but
you love the memories and so you think you love the
person who made these memories with you...
that's how it is, since the start.. girls,
wake up.. you dont love your ex's anymore,
you love the memories..
tired of sob stories about how you still love him
so much but you had to break up..
that's one problem with humans, our tendancy
to get so mixed up with things..
it makes us look dumb.. please, think properly,
dont keep allowing your anguish to keep you
in despair...
a heart torn loose that needs repair
mind is gone, no eyes to see
transparent... all but these memories
i dont know how to explain this.
i just like this phrase. seems nice, and it serves
as a reminder to why people cant let go and
still call it love.. it's only cause your memories
are still there, the only thing that reminds you
of another party is memory.. in a few months,
you might have already forgotten his face but,
you still claim to love the ex.
big mistake.
you still love the memories that's all.
when you started to know him and feel the
attraction, it's because of animal nature to
procreate, you then start to form memories
with him, you start to shape bonds,
you realise he doesnt fall short of your expectations,
but, some time later, you have to breakup
because, the romance fell short of yours and
his expectations.. you then try to forget him
but you still kept the memories and you dont realise
that you have already forgotten him.. but
you love the memories and so you think you love the
person who made these memories with you...
that's how it is, since the start.. girls,
wake up.. you dont love your ex's anymore,
you love the memories..
tired of sob stories about how you still love him
so much but you had to break up..
that's one problem with humans, our tendancy
to get so mixed up with things..
it makes us look dumb.. please, think properly,
dont keep allowing your anguish to keep you
in despair...
13 September 2007
Regret
have you ever, regretted an action of yours?
My friend Fernando, asked me to give my opinion
to an SMS he had, and it went like this.
"it's not possible to live a life w/o regrets.
cos we're human, thus imperfect and prone to
making mistakes. i think it's okay to regret
doing something as long as we learn not to
repeat the mistake. it's not possible to forget
or ignore something that's a part of you.
that made you who you are, and that's essentially
what regrets are. so, it's time we learn from a
regretful mistake and work towards becoming a
better person."
well said, but no offences meant,
through and through, i only agree that we as
human as we can be, are imperfect and
are prone to mistakes.
if we were anymore self-respecting,
we'd understand that regrets are not supposed
to be in our dictionary. learn from mistakes,
yes, but regretting your actions, no.
let me put it out to you that your actions
are usually made by considering many various
options. you pick the one you think is most
suitable to handle your current situation.
dont tell me you dont have a choice,
when you say that, you have already made
your mind up.. you could jolly well have
ignored the possible consequences of other
possible options. you always have choices.
it's the same, you say you regret falling for
the wrong guy, you say you regret stealing,
you claim to have regretted your mistakes
but if you did regret them, you weren't
placing all your heart into it were you?
if you are truly passionate about your work,
and what you are doing, don't ever regret
doing anything, right or wrong is much
just a matter of perception, so there is no
such thing such as a mistake, never ever
allow someone else to tell you what you've
done is error on your part, that's bullshit.
only you and you alone can judge your
doings and the manifestation of your actions.
And let's say you consider your actions
wrong, then don't you realise that we,
as humans are too guilty of degrading
ourselves so much that we can only see with
accuracy when we make mistakes but will
rarely notice when we have done something
considerably noble?
i know this is more or less out of point but,
if we can all regret what went wrong, why
not propose something where we will be
awarded for every minor good we have done?
learning from mistakes does not include
regrets, cause regretting is like "chewing
gum to solve an extremely difficult math
question"
when i make it sound blunt, regretting is
somewhat alike to wallowing in self-pity.
but learning from mistakes does not require
wallowing in self-pity does it?
just make amends and carry on, as Avinash
says, 'if you look upon bad consequences
as a result of your actions, you will realise
that you kinda earned it, then there is no
longer a regret.' it's kinda like how you take
money for granted when you have lots of
cash when you just have to stretch out your
hands. but when you earned it, you cherish
it, that's like results of your actions, when
you actually earned them, you will not regret it,
you will remember them and do things
differently when you meet a similar situation.
in life, there is no absolute, so there is no
cause for regrets, it's just a nice word.
forgive yourself before you can be forgiven.
you don't know love, til you love yourself.
"above all else, guard your heart, for it's the wellspring of life" - Proverbs 4:23
My friend Fernando, asked me to give my opinion
to an SMS he had, and it went like this.
"it's not possible to live a life w/o regrets.
cos we're human, thus imperfect and prone to
making mistakes. i think it's okay to regret
doing something as long as we learn not to
repeat the mistake. it's not possible to forget
or ignore something that's a part of you.
that made you who you are, and that's essentially
what regrets are. so, it's time we learn from a
regretful mistake and work towards becoming a
better person."
well said, but no offences meant,
through and through, i only agree that we as
human as we can be, are imperfect and
are prone to mistakes.
if we were anymore self-respecting,
we'd understand that regrets are not supposed
to be in our dictionary. learn from mistakes,
yes, but regretting your actions, no.
let me put it out to you that your actions
are usually made by considering many various
options. you pick the one you think is most
suitable to handle your current situation.
dont tell me you dont have a choice,
when you say that, you have already made
your mind up.. you could jolly well have
ignored the possible consequences of other
possible options. you always have choices.
it's the same, you say you regret falling for
the wrong guy, you say you regret stealing,
you claim to have regretted your mistakes
but if you did regret them, you weren't
placing all your heart into it were you?
if you are truly passionate about your work,
and what you are doing, don't ever regret
doing anything, right or wrong is much
just a matter of perception, so there is no
such thing such as a mistake, never ever
allow someone else to tell you what you've
done is error on your part, that's bullshit.
only you and you alone can judge your
doings and the manifestation of your actions.
And let's say you consider your actions
wrong, then don't you realise that we,
as humans are too guilty of degrading
ourselves so much that we can only see with
accuracy when we make mistakes but will
rarely notice when we have done something
considerably noble?
i know this is more or less out of point but,
if we can all regret what went wrong, why
not propose something where we will be
awarded for every minor good we have done?
learning from mistakes does not include
regrets, cause regretting is like "chewing
gum to solve an extremely difficult math
question"
when i make it sound blunt, regretting is
somewhat alike to wallowing in self-pity.
but learning from mistakes does not require
wallowing in self-pity does it?
just make amends and carry on, as Avinash
says, 'if you look upon bad consequences
as a result of your actions, you will realise
that you kinda earned it, then there is no
longer a regret.' it's kinda like how you take
money for granted when you have lots of
cash when you just have to stretch out your
hands. but when you earned it, you cherish
it, that's like results of your actions, when
you actually earned them, you will not regret it,
you will remember them and do things
differently when you meet a similar situation.
in life, there is no absolute, so there is no
cause for regrets, it's just a nice word.
forgive yourself before you can be forgiven.
you don't know love, til you love yourself.
"above all else, guard your heart, for it's the wellspring of life" - Proverbs 4:23
8 September 2007
A tribute to all the nice guys!
Written by: Oscar Baldo
Date Written: 29/10/05
This is a tribute to the nice guys
The ones that always finish last
Those who are never more than friends
The one who understood girls in the past
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Who lasts hours filled with disappoint
To listen to the girl whine about arseholes
While disproving the very point
This is a tribute to the nice guys
The ones that compliments the miss
Not to get her to go out with him
But just to lift her spirit with bliss
This is a tribute to the nice guys
With open minds and an honest concern
The one that respects every facet
The one who needs nothing in return
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Who escort their drunken female friends
The one who wouldn't take advantage
Just so their friendship wouldn't end
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Who plays by the rules in a game
Even when that game favors cheaters
His actions are always the same
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Who accompany girls to bars as a buffer
To protect her with everything he has
Against the others so she won't suffer
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Boyfriend material is what he's named
Yet a few dozen failed relationships
After scratches, his heart starts to maim
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Those who are manipulated and misled
The guys who are unjustly abandoned
Never stayed down; jumped back up instead
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Ones who paused Grand Theft Auto 3
Just to reassure that everything is okay
Assisted the helpless girl in a certain degree
This is a tribute to the nice guys
For the times his friend didn't have a date
Still there was nothing serious
The ones that just agrees and never debate
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Those that don't often get enough recognition
The ones that don't get the mate they should
The ones that try to stop this tradition
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Those that heard he's too nice to date
Guys who wait in front of the bathroom
Just so she wouldn't be the only one late
This is a tribute to the nice guys
The one that tries to find the perfect girl
Even trickier, to find those that are single
This is for you, may your future unfurl
This is a tribute to the nice guys
For every time someone said we're just friends
This poem is for all you guys out there
This is a payment for my amends
This is a tribute to the nice guys
For all the faceless, nameless defenders
My accolades and gratitude goes out to you
Just never forget to never surrender
Date Written: 29/10/05
This is a tribute to the nice guys
The ones that always finish last
Those who are never more than friends
The one who understood girls in the past
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Who lasts hours filled with disappoint
To listen to the girl whine about arseholes
While disproving the very point
This is a tribute to the nice guys
The ones that compliments the miss
Not to get her to go out with him
But just to lift her spirit with bliss
This is a tribute to the nice guys
With open minds and an honest concern
The one that respects every facet
The one who needs nothing in return
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Who escort their drunken female friends
The one who wouldn't take advantage
Just so their friendship wouldn't end
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Who plays by the rules in a game
Even when that game favors cheaters
His actions are always the same
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Who accompany girls to bars as a buffer
To protect her with everything he has
Against the others so she won't suffer
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Boyfriend material is what he's named
Yet a few dozen failed relationships
After scratches, his heart starts to maim
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Those who are manipulated and misled
The guys who are unjustly abandoned
Never stayed down; jumped back up instead
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Ones who paused Grand Theft Auto 3
Just to reassure that everything is okay
Assisted the helpless girl in a certain degree
This is a tribute to the nice guys
For the times his friend didn't have a date
Still there was nothing serious
The ones that just agrees and never debate
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Those that don't often get enough recognition
The ones that don't get the mate they should
The ones that try to stop this tradition
This is a tribute to the nice guys
Those that heard he's too nice to date
Guys who wait in front of the bathroom
Just so she wouldn't be the only one late
This is a tribute to the nice guys
The one that tries to find the perfect girl
Even trickier, to find those that are single
This is for you, may your future unfurl
This is a tribute to the nice guys
For every time someone said we're just friends
This poem is for all you guys out there
This is a payment for my amends
This is a tribute to the nice guys
For all the faceless, nameless defenders
My accolades and gratitude goes out to you
Just never forget to never surrender
5 September 2007
Fading grace
Even if it's just for one moment,
embrace me in your arms
when it gets cold, be there to keep me warm
Even if it's just for one moment,
breath life into me, resurrect me,
show me there's still hope for me.
Even if it's just for one moment,
touch me, kiss me, love me,
reignite the passion within me.
just whisper sweet nothings in my ear,
take me away, i dont care where
Even if it's just for one moment,
make me forgetl; take this chance
to show me a world full of romance.
hold me even when the sun sets,
take me down memory lane
to the 1st day we met.
Even if it's just for one moment,
lets take our friendship to the next level,
in this moment, allow us to lose ourselves.
Even if it's just for one moment,
i'll trade it all, bring me
out of this loneliness,
surround me with happiness,
even if it's just for one moment,
i promise you, i'll treasure this moment.
it isnt written be me..
but well.. it's really nice..
really, Kampfen found this and thought it
suited him.. i hope you will see this..
Me: on the brink of death
lying on a bed of roses
wondering why it hurts
thorns through the flesh
hooking up through the petals
isnt enough to pierce the heart
this suffering is endless
why are you still hanging tough?
why wouldnt let me end this?
Kampfen: remember your words,
stand by them like i do,
you said to never close your eyes,
know what you are against.
"closing your eyes are akin to
your opponent would want your eyes shut,
they have an easy target"
thats how you taught me to fight
dont forget you also said
"fighting is like living life"
remeber those words?
live by them like i do..
dont let me die, let me live,
let me continue feeling the pain,
dont let me down,
continue the suffering and living
at least living in pain is better
than dying far before you are dead
embrace me in your arms
when it gets cold, be there to keep me warm
Even if it's just for one moment,
breath life into me, resurrect me,
show me there's still hope for me.
Even if it's just for one moment,
touch me, kiss me, love me,
reignite the passion within me.
just whisper sweet nothings in my ear,
take me away, i dont care where
Even if it's just for one moment,
make me forgetl; take this chance
to show me a world full of romance.
hold me even when the sun sets,
take me down memory lane
to the 1st day we met.
Even if it's just for one moment,
lets take our friendship to the next level,
in this moment, allow us to lose ourselves.
Even if it's just for one moment,
i'll trade it all, bring me
out of this loneliness,
surround me with happiness,
even if it's just for one moment,
i promise you, i'll treasure this moment.
it isnt written be me..
but well.. it's really nice..
really, Kampfen found this and thought it
suited him.. i hope you will see this..
Me: on the brink of death
lying on a bed of roses
wondering why it hurts
thorns through the flesh
hooking up through the petals
isnt enough to pierce the heart
this suffering is endless
why are you still hanging tough?
why wouldnt let me end this?
Kampfen: remember your words,
stand by them like i do,
you said to never close your eyes,
know what you are against.
"closing your eyes are akin to
your opponent would want your eyes shut,
they have an easy target"
thats how you taught me to fight
dont forget you also said
"fighting is like living life"
remeber those words?
live by them like i do..
dont let me die, let me live,
let me continue feeling the pain,
dont let me down,
continue the suffering and living
at least living in pain is better
than dying far before you are dead
3 September 2007
Masochist
the mind is breaking, heart is tearing up,
feeling extremely dellusional..
hysterical, you know why,
you dont know how it feels, you dont
know how distant it feels,
you dont know how much
the longing for someone breaks resolve up
what went wrong?
please, please tell him, he needs to know.
look at him.. he's ruining himself,
not when he just felt again,
not when he just dusted his heart
and placed it once more in himself..
i know, i know he failed to be there
once, just that once,
but at the rate he's going, come on,
he's not your boyfriend..
he cannot say "i caught your hint"
and just stay there with you.. true,
he wants to.. but you have to ask,
you have to make it seem like a friendly
favour, so that he wouldnt be too guilty,
bringing you out, defying his mom's plea
was much too much already..
cause this was not just him, this was not just
you and him.
please understand, cant you feel that he
is in pain.. and it scares me to watch his
distant eyes, his stone cold ignorance
that mirthless grin, he seems to love it,
he acts like he does.. but notice,
just a little sparkle of tear in his eye,
then you'll understand, understand that
he knows his life is drawing close to the end.
it hurts.. but somehow, he loves it,
the masochist, the more he suffers,
the nicer it seems.. but
he can no longer live in solitary..
that means one day, he will lose his
masochism and start hating the pain.
that will be the day, you watch someone
mutate into a living dead, a man
who dies before his body dies.
P.S : sorry, exams are drawing near,
the rest you should understand.
feeling extremely dellusional..
hysterical, you know why,
you dont know how it feels, you dont
know how distant it feels,
you dont know how much
the longing for someone breaks resolve up
what went wrong?
please, please tell him, he needs to know.
look at him.. he's ruining himself,
not when he just felt again,
not when he just dusted his heart
and placed it once more in himself..
i know, i know he failed to be there
once, just that once,
but at the rate he's going, come on,
he's not your boyfriend..
he cannot say "i caught your hint"
and just stay there with you.. true,
he wants to.. but you have to ask,
you have to make it seem like a friendly
favour, so that he wouldnt be too guilty,
bringing you out, defying his mom's plea
was much too much already..
cause this was not just him, this was not just
you and him.
please understand, cant you feel that he
is in pain.. and it scares me to watch his
distant eyes, his stone cold ignorance
that mirthless grin, he seems to love it,
he acts like he does.. but notice,
just a little sparkle of tear in his eye,
then you'll understand, understand that
he knows his life is drawing close to the end.
it hurts.. but somehow, he loves it,
the masochist, the more he suffers,
the nicer it seems.. but
he can no longer live in solitary..
that means one day, he will lose his
masochism and start hating the pain.
that will be the day, you watch someone
mutate into a living dead, a man
who dies before his body dies.
P.S : sorry, exams are drawing near,
the rest you should understand.
2 September 2007
Kampfen
this story told once by many,
shall once again be told by me.
Kampfen a buddy of mine,
was once a passionate fool,
he believed in love so much
he was bound to suffer.
he loved well, with all his heart
but she had never appreciated this fool.
one day he told her to stop lying,
she said she had no lies,
a week flies by and true the ship has sunk.
he thus lost a little faith, struggling on,
he decided to try once more.
a few hours past and the crew parted
before the ship was set to sail.
Kampfen has then lost his heart,
he had taken out his heart,
the heart capable of phantasmal
love and fed it to the dust.
Or should we say,
the world he lived in causes such
and that his life was tough?
this made Kampfen lose his feelings,
he wasnt human, more a robot,
operated on logics and assumptions,
his rights, his wrongs.
no one mattered, the definition
of his love was the physical intimacy,
the hour long fornication and the
friend he has for that night.
nothing else matters, he no longer felt pain,
happiness seemed distant but he didnt care.
he must let no one hurt him again.
and if he didnt love, no one could hurt him.
to him, loving is hurting.
but he couldnt see then, that hurting is
but only part of loving, there was still
much much more.
he never knew what was fear, he had no fears,
he faced death in the eyes, jumping
from roofs to roofs, from stories high,
to the levelled ground.
he walked across busy streets and he fought
with life as the stake.
then, a faithful encounter,
that one day changed his life,
that one very day altered the core of his resolve,
he was set to feel again.
he set his eyes on a special girl and he felt
his heart palpitating, fluttery,
with unbated beats slowly becoming rapid.
he soon came to search for his heart,
abandoning the thoughts that flesh on flesh
was indeed the only source of happiness,
retracing his steps and correcting the wrongs,
he must rebuild himself.
then, this lady he liked, seemed all too
unpredictable,
after he left his heart behind,
there was never once, not a single once,
had his mind been in a frenzy,
logic now defies him, he is afraid to make
false moves, and that had incurred her wrath.
now he thinks she finds him repungent,
he very much wants to apologise,
but it never seems to work..
he is already starting to lose
the meaning of his name
hey my dear friend.. dont worry..
you are now human again.. and one
day your love be reciprocated..
we all just wait and see.. dont be afraid.
shall once again be told by me.
Kampfen a buddy of mine,
was once a passionate fool,
he believed in love so much
he was bound to suffer.
he loved well, with all his heart
but she had never appreciated this fool.
one day he told her to stop lying,
she said she had no lies,
a week flies by and true the ship has sunk.
he thus lost a little faith, struggling on,
he decided to try once more.
a few hours past and the crew parted
before the ship was set to sail.
Kampfen has then lost his heart,
he had taken out his heart,
the heart capable of phantasmal
love and fed it to the dust.
Or should we say,
the world he lived in causes such
and that his life was tough?
this made Kampfen lose his feelings,
he wasnt human, more a robot,
operated on logics and assumptions,
his rights, his wrongs.
no one mattered, the definition
of his love was the physical intimacy,
the hour long fornication and the
friend he has for that night.
nothing else matters, he no longer felt pain,
happiness seemed distant but he didnt care.
he must let no one hurt him again.
and if he didnt love, no one could hurt him.
to him, loving is hurting.
but he couldnt see then, that hurting is
but only part of loving, there was still
much much more.
he never knew what was fear, he had no fears,
he faced death in the eyes, jumping
from roofs to roofs, from stories high,
to the levelled ground.
he walked across busy streets and he fought
with life as the stake.
then, a faithful encounter,
that one day changed his life,
that one very day altered the core of his resolve,
he was set to feel again.
he set his eyes on a special girl and he felt
his heart palpitating, fluttery,
with unbated beats slowly becoming rapid.
he soon came to search for his heart,
abandoning the thoughts that flesh on flesh
was indeed the only source of happiness,
retracing his steps and correcting the wrongs,
he must rebuild himself.
then, this lady he liked, seemed all too
unpredictable,
after he left his heart behind,
there was never once, not a single once,
had his mind been in a frenzy,
logic now defies him, he is afraid to make
false moves, and that had incurred her wrath.
now he thinks she finds him repungent,
he very much wants to apologise,
but it never seems to work..
he is already starting to lose
the meaning of his name
hey my dear friend.. dont worry..
you are now human again.. and one
day your love be reciprocated..
we all just wait and see.. dont be afraid.
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