Auld Lang Syne

i woke up today, early in the morning
to go for my granny's funeral procession.
the little prick in my heart has subsided,
it was just a formality to me.

you might say, i was being unfeeling and cold,
but if you consider the fact that i don't really know her,
you'd understand that the prick in my heart before,
is already amazing enough.

i went through a couple of rites,
and kneeling on my already sore knees,
after which, the sons and grandsons,
we were sitted beside the dreaded coffin which layed my granny,
i watched her alot, so hoping she'd wake up,
and flash that unforgotten smile.
but she never did.

today as her friends came to pray,
the family, we had to sit by her coffin,
the coffin made of rosewood
with such delicate handiwork and handles plated with gold,
when suddenly, the band broke into the melodious overture,
Auld Lang Syne.

it sets the mood so right, but i could ignore it.
when one of her friends walked in,
saw my granny in the coffin,
she broke in to an endless stream of tears,
she started wailing and her tears couldn't stop.
her friend, was as old as she was,
frial as she looked, the friend nearly fell.

as i saw all that happened, i felt something,
something in my previously cold heart,
i too, wanted to let my tears flow.
looking around, i realised that because of the emotional show,
many of my family members too wanted to cry.

but the pact we made, to send my granny off,
without the tears so that her soul could rest,
was not to be broken.
the tune of Auld Lang Syne ended,
and we had to go through yet another ritual.
that's when i realised, i would never again,
see that smile i never forgotten, through the years....

The Litter.

now hold it, the title..
hmm.. what does it signify?
do you know what it means?
the definition of litter is thrash that isn't placed correctly.
thrash being items that are considered unwanted
and useless to the particular being.

that brings me to my title,
"The Litter".. now,
don't blame me for the numerous reiterations
of the meaning of the word, as i find that there's a need to.
this "Litter", is not, i repeat, NOT the litter of cubs,
it is crudly, RUBBISH(as if "trash" wasn't crude enough),
that is put in a place where it doesn't belong.

why am i writing about rubbish?
possibly because i do not have a topic to write about
or because i find a need to express my concern over this matter.
you decide.
In my class, as most of my classmates agree,
there is a certain parasite that everyone wants to get rid of.
HE feeds on your patience, this parasite,
is very deadly, he hurls words/sentences/phrases,
that makes no sense at all, to you,
and gives you an intellectual and wise look on his round face,
when he sure as hell doesn't SOUND very intellectual.
At least he tries to, but intellect comes together with
DEVELOPED logic, be it whether this logic is screwed or not,
logic is still of large importance for words to make sense.

an example of a case study, for evidence sake,
is a personal encounter i had had with this particular parasite.
i am not trying to boast, as this post is about the parasite.
or the "Litter" i am refering to.
He claims that my alleged skills and violent rampages are
NOT ENOUGH to bring him down.
(he thinks his 70+ kg fat mass is heavy.)
he is short, fleshy and clumsy.
he thinks he can be fast,
compared to a 55kg washboard belly and
tone-armed boy.
what do you think?

i think he has a challenged intellect and should,
check out his cerebral hemisphere,
cause he has no sense for art(left brain),
nor logic(right brain).
so, his whole grey-matter should be checked.
for the 1st time in my life,
i am discriminating.
he forced me to do it,
i can't take a know-it-all look from a guy,
who doesn't know any better.

someone should pick this litter up
and put it away, it doesn't belong here.
it doesn't have a life.
it can't move itself out of people's way.
and chooses to hang on people's thin thread of patience.
please, someone, sweep it away.
or recycle and make good use of it,
save the world from pollution!

P.S. people who know me and my class,
a riddle for you.
Who/what is this "Litter"?

1st post, nothing sweet reli..

yeah.. what can i say?
today was a really beautiful day,
nice weather..

i had planned to blog about people
and their "politeness" today.
but things took a huge twist,
and ironically, this twist wasn't supposed to hit that hard.

this was about 7pm,
when i just finished taking a bath,
i was feeling quite happy
cause of the wonderful day,
when i was on the phone with my mom,
she went "your granny passed away"
i was stupefied, i said "what? which one?"
she said "your dad's mom"
that's the main point,
i was dealt with a blow that civically,
shouldn't be hard to deal with.
i haven't seen this granny in a long time,
and i really mean long.
most i see her is thrice every year.

but when i started thinking about it,
i can't help but to feel a kind of darkness engulf my heart,
this persistant tear, it wants so much to come out.

can i think of it as relieve from her sickness?
the ailments that starts from old age?
but i wanted to do something as a grandson,
now, the only thing i can ever do is,
to attend her funeral.
i never had her and she never had me,
all we knew about each other is that we are kins,
she was a really kind person,
she never fails to smile
and talking to her everytime i visit has always been nice,
she never fails to make people happy.

i cringe at the fact that i can only hold the joss sticks for her,
i didn't wanna do that til i'm much older,
so she can see, that one of her grandsons,
though grown up outside her family,
still cared for her.
i don't know if it matters, but i still wanna care for her.
now, i can only do the things which are so insignificant,
things which we as living people just believe they see.
but do we know for real?
i guess we'll never know lest we're dead too.

now i know, that someone who isn't known to you,
just as long as they are family,
you will still feel the tearing of your flesh when they leave,
be it for the better or for the worse,
you will never know, you'd only know that they have trasnscended,
to the netherworld.

i promise brighter posts in the near future..
but not today.
i apologise..