Lost Love. Or Lost Direction..

Life is getting very bleak
i don't think i will find the love i seek.
the future is seemingly black
and i know there is now going back

The chances for success
are becoming less and less
i've poured out my soul and heart
and we still remain miles apart.

my love for her is so deep
it even robs me of my sleep
i'm in so much pain
maybe a deep blade into the vein.

do you think that this signifies the losing
of love or the losing of one's direction in life?
i mean after we lose something dear to us,
we cease to believe in something,
we lose a part of us and become different.

during a divorce, you do not get divided..
no.. u get diverted. les divertes
you are FORCED to change your way.
you need to replan your life,
edit and change your calander, ur schdule,
readjust to quiet thursday nights without
her.
your friday nights are blissful with friends.
but your bliss is shortlived now,
cause you know when you reach home,
you have to face the walls alone,
you slam back to bed.

life's lesson learnt?

The best teachers in life,

are not people who bring you to your destination.

They are the ones who show you many ways,

and you will have to choose your own,

then they will become useless to you,

they can not help you anymore for

you have taken the path of your choice

of which they have no knowledge about.



life is like cycling, and cycling alone is quite boring.

and just like any long cycling trip,

many people will give up, even your friends,

you will go out on your own journey,

meeting friends who will cycle with you,

as you cycle and the fatigue builds up,

you will start watching friends give up,

one-by-one. but you cannot stop,

you cannot stop because you are aware

that our time is limited,

you leave them behind, now you are alone,

you want to give up, you don't know where you should go,

you notice a certain van, you decide to hang on to this van,

the van called routines.



that is how most of our lives become.

but is that what we want, yes, routines

make life so much easier, we can go on,

without thinking,

that's when we die when we are alive,

we become blind to the changes and wonders

around us, we cease to feel miracles,

we no longer remember the questions we ask as kids.



"who is GOD?"

"why can't we do what we want?"

"why must we pray?"

"why must we go to churh?"

"why is it we don't have to work as kids?"



so they lose all the questions?

or is it that we have, over the years resigned

to the fact that we live to follow designated paths.

when the WorldTradeCenter crashed in 11/9/01,

the world was in a frenzy to move the debris,

in hope to find life.

most of the lives that had already resigned to routines,

in a way, they were liberated.

but if you take this lesson spiritually,

you will know that deep inside,

routine has long crashed our soul,

our dreams covered in debris,

lets all try to change that, break away

from our comfort zone, do things that we don't

usually do.

Pride, Honour, Glory.

you know, i don't get my title..
but i'll just try to blog about something relavent..
i mean, that's the whole bloody point to it.

i'm so tired, so tired of it..
i mean i am prideful too, sometimes, too much,
i understand.. but i don't get those people who
can waver so much to their pride,
some people whom i'm only aquainted,
though i don't know them but stories are enough.
if only one person tells me a story,
i sure as hell wouldn't take it for real.
but if i hear more than one story,
about the same guy, about the same thing,
i might believe,
i still will not judge but this is a reflection
of my thoughts on those who hold their pride
above everything else they have and do.

yes, these people look for girlfriends,
these people cannot let go,
these people will still save their pride
no matter what,
i seriously believe that if your girlfriend
means less than your pride,
don't get a girl, you'll only hurt her
and yourself.. you must be thinking right now,
'what is this guy saying?'
well, i'm not saying guys shouldn't have pride,
i'm saying, we should keep it in check,
our girls deserve better,
i'm not saying we MUST always give in,
i'm saying, we should try to give in once in awhile.

she has her social cycle, if she has guy friends,
jealousy is allowed.. but some go to extremes man..
you can be jealous but please, think,
if you guys quarrel? some other guy might be
the one patching you guys up.. or mayb,
u want her to only talk to u,
you wanna be her world?
ever read my previous post?
"give another your bread; but eat not of the same loaf"
that means that both of you should still have your own lives,
why do you think that permenance
can be maintained by possesion?
it won't happen, both of you will tire out..

you are never ready to love when
you can't put her abouve what you so egoistically want.

"Above all, guard your heart; for it's the wellspring of life"-Proverbs 4:23

Dishevelled

Remember times when you
can't even pick yourself up?
not with your faithful chocolate and all,
and your candies doesn't seem to help too.

then what else do you have? hope.
when Pandora, just like Eve, succumbed to
curiousity and opened the box which Zeus
so strongly warned her against opening,
she release all of them evils and only hope
remained, that's why in times of despair,
we always blindly turn to hope..

but can hoping change anything?
now don't mean to spoil your wonderous
mood and all.. but,
think about this, when you are hoping,
what do you hope for? things to get better?
or for things not to get worse?
didn't you already realise that
things cant get worse?
or didn't u realise that nothing comes
better than they are supposed to be?

haha.. now u can choose to trust in hope..
but a fool will only believe in himself
and trust other fools that believes in him.