Trust

Distrust is the confident expectation that another
individual's motives, intentions, and behaviours
are sinister to one's own interest. distrust auto-
matically makes take steps to reduce our
"vulnerability".

Due to it's destructive nature, we must view
this phenomenon with much care and see how
it can be managed efficiently.

oh yes, to deal with something, we must also
know how it functions, distrust, the lack of trust,
whatever you'd like to call it all means, not trusting,
it is often due to stereotypical and judgemental
views which are, more often than not, flawful
views. even when the distrusted party tries
to amend, it is often met by skeptisim and
sometimes, hostility.

in the case of promises, when a party breaks a
promise, the other might probably lose faith
or trust in him. this guy, decides to make amends
but after being rejected, he might decide
to just give up and continue breaking more promises.
in such cases, distrust increases frequency of
violation and causes even more distrust.

there are two sides to distrust,
good side: functional distrust
bad side: dysfunctional distrust

Functional:
there have been cases where we trust people
to be upright in character and not betray us
but we were indeed betrayed, this form
of distrust, helps us to keep our defences up,
to remain vigilant to protect ourselves.

Dysfunctional:
distrusting also has extremes, and these
are nothing to be jumping for joy to. when
distrust is at it's extreme, it leads to paranoia,
an obessesion for the subject to find a reason
to every single action of the distrusted, this
leads to overactive imaginations and a faulty
judgement of character. the subject will most
likely show his distrust and get treated
equally, which will cause a buildup of
animosity and even more distrust.

that's just backgound where it involves two
parties or more..
but what happens when it's someone whom
you know too well? when it's just one party?
all these still apply, it only means that
you are too judgemental on yourself,
you refuse to allow yourself to experience
and do things without an explaination..
correct me if im wrong.. i highly doubt it,
if you are telling me you cannot trust yourself,
ive been through that, and i know what
it exactly feels like. you tell yourself not to
do some things or to do some things but,
you might have broken these promises before
therefore you lose faith in yourself and
when you try to gain faith again, you have no
will to do so, you are worried that you will make
the same mistakes and you refuse to give
yourself a chance.. that's how it usually goes
that's what makes you lose faith in yourself
and as the faith is gone, the trust fades..

most of the time, logic and emotions dont
agree.. but you need to know which to
follow.. i know there are sayings of the
heart being treacherous but, treachery
is a blow that can only come unknowingly.
if you knew your heart well enough,
it can never be treacherous.. and if you
want to get to know it, you have to trust
it. without knowledge, we can survive,
without emotions, we cannot function as
per nomal. why do i say such?
ever heard that
human empathy is one of the strongest
feelings?
9/11, countless people who had gone,
the world was taken aback, the world when
only a fraction of these people are related
to those who were victimised.. that's how
the victims continued to have hope,
with the comfort and condolences from
people they dont know, they feel that
the world has so much more to offer them,
the FEEL but they dont KNOW..
another point.

whatever it is,
when you cant trust, you cant love..
when you cant love yourself, you cant
love others...

love yourself, for the sake of a better
world.. for love, can change a person.
and if everyone of us make an effort
to better ourselves, the world will be
such a better place.

if all of us learnt to trust, and want
to be trusted, there would be no
betrayal.. but as humans, we have a
long way to go.. lets try to shorten
this time.

Dedication

you're a falling star, you're the getaway car.
you're the line in the sand when i go too far
you're the swimming pool, on an August day
and you're the perfect thing to say.

and you can play it coy, but it's kinda cute
ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what to do
baby, don't pretend that you don't know it's true
cause you can see it when i look at you.

[chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through this crazy times
it's you, it's you, you make me sing
you're every line, you're every word, you're everything

you're a carousel, you're a wishing well
and you light me up, when you ring my bell
you're a mystery, you're from outer space
you're every minute of my everyday

and i can't believe, that i'm your man
and i get to kiss you baby just because i can
whatever comes our way, we'll see it through
and you know that's what our love can do

[chorus:]

so, La la la la la la la
So, La la la la la la la

[chorus:]

you're every song, and i sing along
cause you're my everything
yeah, yeah

Despair

a shell vacant, lost in despair
a heart torn loose that needs repair
mind is gone, no eyes to see
transparent... all but these memories

i dont know how to explain this.
i just like this phrase. seems nice, and it serves
as a reminder to why people cant let go and
still call it love.. it's only cause your memories
are still there, the only thing that reminds you
of another party is memory.. in a few months,
you might have already forgotten his face but,
you still claim to love the ex.

big mistake.
you still love the memories that's all.

when you started to know him and feel the
attraction, it's because of animal nature to
procreate, you then start to form memories
with him, you start to shape bonds,
you realise he doesnt fall short of your expectations,
but, some time later, you have to breakup
because, the romance fell short of yours and
his expectations.. you then try to forget him
but you still kept the memories and you dont realise
that you have already forgotten him.. but
you love the memories and so you think you love the
person who made these memories with you...

that's how it is, since the start.. girls,
wake up.. you dont love your ex's anymore,
you love the memories..

tired of sob stories about how you still love him
so much but you had to break up..
that's one problem with humans, our tendancy
to get so mixed up with things..
it makes us look dumb.. please, think properly,
dont keep allowing your anguish to keep you
in despair...

Regret

have you ever, regretted an action of yours?

My friend Fernando, asked me to give my opinion
to an SMS he had, and it went like this.
"it's not possible to live a life w/o regrets.
cos we're human, thus imperfect and prone to
making mistakes. i think it's okay to regret
doing something as long as we learn not to
repeat the mistake. it's not possible to forget
or ignore something that's a part of you.
that made you who you are, and that's essentially
what regrets are. so, it's time we learn from a
regretful mistake and work towards becoming a
better person."

well said, but no offences meant,
through and through, i only agree that we as
human as we can be, are imperfect and
are prone to mistakes.

if we were anymore self-respecting,
we'd understand that regrets are not supposed
to be in our dictionary. learn from mistakes,
yes, but regretting your actions, no.

let me put it out to you that your actions
are usually made by considering many various
options. you pick the one you think is most
suitable to handle your current situation.
dont tell me you dont have a choice,
when you say that, you have already made
your mind up.. you could jolly well have
ignored the possible consequences of other
possible options. you always have choices.

it's the same, you say you regret falling for
the wrong guy, you say you regret stealing,
you claim to have regretted your mistakes
but if you did regret them, you weren't
placing all your heart into it were you?
if you are truly passionate about your work,
and what you are doing, don't ever regret
doing anything, right or wrong is much
just a matter of perception, so there is no
such thing such as a mistake, never ever
allow someone else to tell you what you've
done is error on your part, that's bullshit.
only you and you alone can judge your
doings and the manifestation of your actions.

And let's say you consider your actions
wrong, then don't you realise that we,
as humans are too guilty of degrading
ourselves so much that we can only see with
accuracy when we make mistakes but will
rarely notice when we have done something
considerably noble?
i know this is more or less out of point but,
if we can all regret what went wrong, why
not propose something where we will be
awarded for every minor good we have done?

learning from mistakes does not include
regrets, cause regretting is like "chewing
gum to solve an extremely difficult math
question"
when i make it sound blunt, regretting is
somewhat alike to wallowing in self-pity.
but learning from mistakes does not require
wallowing in self-pity does it?

just make amends and carry on, as Avinash
says, 'if you look upon bad consequences
as a result of your actions, you will realise
that you kinda earned it, then there is no
longer a regret.' it's kinda like how you take
money for granted when you have lots of
cash when you just have to stretch out your
hands. but when you earned it, you cherish
it, that's like results of your actions, when
you actually earned them, you will not regret it,
you will remember them and do things
differently when you meet a similar situation.

in life, there is no absolute, so there is no
cause for regrets, it's just a nice word.
forgive yourself before you can be forgiven.
you don't know love, til you love yourself.

"above all else, guard your heart, for it's the wellspring of life" - Proverbs 4:23